


The Red Tie that Binds

by sandswinchester



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-03-16 05:38:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13629789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandswinchester/pseuds/sandswinchester
Summary: Yoshina Shihoin, younger sister of Yoruichi Shihoin, has history with Byakuya Kuchiki, Captain of Squad 6 and head of the Kuchiki clan. What happens when they meet after 100 years apart on opposing sides? Slow Burn. Rated M for later. Next update: 21.03.2018





	1. Reunion on the Bridge

 

“Scatter,” the command reverberated through the air stifled with saturated spiritual pressure. Hanataro’s eyes widened.  They had all just witnessed the devastation that followed Captain Kuchiki’s Shikai release. Ganju’s blood, mercilessly spilled, still stained the bridge. Even as Rukia gasped in fear of what would befall Ichigo, something just was not as it should be.

 

 

Byakuya Kuchiki only had a split second’s warning before a strip of white clothing effortlessly wrapped around his Senbonzakura, effectively halting his Shikai release midway.

 

 

“Yoruichi,” he murmured in recognition, seeing just who has landed as gracefully as a cat on all fours in front of him. The former head of the Shihoin clan, Yoruichi Shihoin.

 

 

She rose to her feet as elegantly as she had landed. She glanced back at her old pupil, an involuntary smirk playing at her lips. “It’s been a long time, Byakuya.”

 

 

But Byakuya was not even looking at her anymore. Instead, his eyes were intently focused on someone directly behind Yoruichi. The woman standing right in front of the Ryoka boy. _It couldn’t be..._ he thought in disbelief. But it was. The midnight black hair, the exact same shade as the demon-cat’s, twisted up on her head hiding its length. The whisky amber eyes apprehensively glancing his way unconsciously seeking recognition. There was no denying it. It truly _was_ her – Yoshina Shihoin.

 

 

Memories threatened to overwhelm him but he resolutely composed himself. A century had drifted them apart and he was no longer the hotheaded _boy_ with emotions bubbling on the surface that he was back then. He had a law to uphold. Nothing, not even his past, could distract him from his conviction and duty.

 

 

Wordlessly, without even a word of acknowledgment of the new arrival, Byakuya turned away. “Yoruichi Shihoin. I haven’t seen _your_ face in a while. You’ve been in hiding for over a hundred years. I thought you were dead.”

 

 

Though the words were uttered monotonously with no feeling behind them, they came across as if it was an accusation. At least that is what it felt like to Yoshina so she took it as such. The words were directed at Yoruichi but she knew they were actually meant for her.

 

 

From the moment Kisuke and her sister had dragged her into this whole fiasco with Ichigo, Yoshina had dreaded this very confrontation. She had played it over a countless times in her head – how he would rage at her, maybe fight her even. She never expected the Byakuya she had known to let her off the hook easily. She had expected his hotheaded temper to burn her but this was beyond any scenario she could have ever imagined. This cold indifference. He didn’t even _acknowledge_ her. Though the pale angular face framed by stark black hair was familiar, the slate grey eyes that had dismissed her felt like they belonged to a stranger.

 

 

She took a moment to truly look at him. The white captain haori begrudgingly made her proud even though they were on opposing sides today. The kenseikan on his head meant that he was now truly embracing his noble heritage and the weight of what came with it. Of course she already _knew_ everything there was to know about him. Like a sponge, she had absorbed every little bit of information about Byakuya Kuchiki, captain of the sixth division, and the 28th head of the Kuchiki clan. She told herself that it was in preparation to know all she could about her enemy but she couldn’t truly lie to herself. A hundred years had passed and yet a day hadn’t gone by when she had not worried about him or thought of him.

 

 

Now here he stood, right before her eyes, in flesh and blood, purposely ignoring her. _I’ll fix this Byakuya. Once all this is past us, I’ll fix it. I’ll fix us,_ she swore to herself. Yet seeing the unyielding steel in his eyes, she wondered if they ever could fix what she had once broken.

 

* * *

 

 

The drug administered directly to Ichigo’s bloodstream made him unconscious instantly. Yoruichi hauled him over and flash stepped away taunting Byakuya. In a glorious move that made it evident once and for all just exactly who was the _Flash Goddess_ , she lifted off to the roof.

 

 

“Go, nee-san,” Yoshina called out. “I’ll hold him off.”

 

 

Finally, Byakuya met her eyes. “You?” The snort of derision and disbelief was implied though his dignity did not allow him to truly let it out.

 

 

“Me,” Yoshina replied resolutely.

 

 

From above, Yoruichi addressed him. “Three days. In three days I shall make this boy stronger than _you_. Until then, consider the fight between you two postponed,” she declared. “Feel free to give chase if you wish,” she said glancing down at her sister effectively blocking Byakuya’s path. “But Yoruichi Shihoin is not about to be caught by the likes of you.” With that last taunt, she disappeared.

 

 

Byakuya shifted his focus to the younger Shihoin. He pointedly glanced at her waist, noting the absence of a Zanpakuto as if to ask how she even hoped to battle him without one.

 

 

She met his emotionless gaze. How many times had she stared into those grey eyes? She’d seen the calm sea in them, the stormy clouds, and the smoky confusion. She knew those eyes like she knew her own. Except maybe she didn’t. She couldn’t read those eyes anymore. Maybe there was nothing in them for her to read at all. So hard. So indifferent.

 

 

“I don’t need a Zanpakuto to fight _you_ , Kuchiki,” she responded to the unasked question.

 

 

He sheathed his own to even the battle ground. Or perhaps he simply didn’t think her worthy of even using the sword against her. Deeming her too weak to even truly put up a fight. _Never underestimate your opponent, Byakuya. First lesson your grandfather ever taught us,_ she mentally chided him.

 

 

Without warning, she flash stepped to his right intending to punch him on his side. He barely saw it coming but just in time, he shifted, evading her blow. He made a grab for her extended arm to counter but she stepped away putting distance between them once more. All in the span of a split second.

 

 

“You have improved,” he commended. He hated the involuntary sense of pride that laced his words. He crushed it before it could show.

 

 

She smirked at him. The twist of her lips so familiar. He hated it too. “So have you,” she replied.

 

 

His eyes couldn’t help it. They briefly glanced at the red ribbon that was twisted around her hair. _His_ hair tie. So _that_ had survived 100 years though their friendship had not been as lucky. He remembered that day as clear as if it had just been yesterday. The day she stole that tie. Their last day. The day he told her that he was going to marry her.

 

 

“Hado number thirty-three. Sokatusui,” he uttered, firing the kido without incantation.

 

 

For a moment, she did nothing. Time slowed. The blue fire came at her until it was blocked by a ball of red flame. The two cancelled each other out. “Hado number thirty-one. Shakkaho.”

 

 

His eyes widened. _Unbelievable,_ he thought to himself as he realized that she had fired kido at him not just without the incantation but without even the saying the name of the spell.

 

 

“Amazing,” Ukitake’s voice reached Byakuya’s ear. “This is unprecedented. I’ve never seen such skill before.”

 

 

Byakuya ignored the older captain as well as the knowing smirk on Yoshina’s face. He couldn’t help but be impressed with her skill but he hid it well. Besides, he shouldn’t be this surprised anyway. She had always had an affinity to kido that he could not even compare to. With enough practice, he knew she would master it. It seems she had.

 

 

“I’ve been practicing,” she said, unable to hold back a grin.

 

 

His face showed no emotion. “So it seems.”

 

 

Right before his eyes, she disappeared. He sensed her right behind him just before he turned to face her. The punch she had aimed for his back hit his face. He stepped away instantly. She had landed the first strike.

 

 

Her eyes widened with disbelief as his smooth pale aristocratic cheek reddened with blood. She had cut him without even meaning to. She glanced down at her hand to notice that the clan’s ring on her index finger had a trace of his blood.

 

 

Her obvious shock told him that she had not intended to hurt him. In the split second it took her to recover from her misplaced guilt, he flash stepped bridging the distance between them until they were mere inches apart.

 

 

Her mouth opened in a gasp. They were so close, yet so far. So many years between them. So many words unsaid, so many things unfelt. How many times have they sparred against each other? Yet she knew this was different. This time, the fight was real. This time, they were truly on opposing sides.

 

 

His hand was right in front of her heart, index finger pointed forward to the center. He thought he could hear the crescendo of its beat. She knew before the words even left his mouth that she wouldn’t survive this. Not straight to the heart. Not this close.

 

 

“Hado number four. Byakurai,” he said, grey eyes staring into amber.

 

 

The pain hit her hard. Excruciating and numbing at the same time. She had been so focused on him that she hadn’t even noticed. He had shifted his hand in the very last second to hit her shoulder instead.

 

 

The lightning pushed her back away from him. Clutching her shoulder, feeling the blood wet her palm, she refused to glance at the hole that must obviously be there.

 

 

“You missed,” she told him flippantly in a lightness that completely belied the true fear she had felt a second ago.

 

 

She met his eyes. Finally there was some emotion in them – an accusation. “You were holding back,” he reproached her.

 

 

She pointedly looked at his sheathed Senbonzakura. “So were you.”

 

 

In an instant, she lifted off and in a flash step that would have made Yoruichi Shihoin proud, she was gone.

 

 

Byakuya stared after her. She was gone as unexpectedly as she had arrived, unaware of the turmoil she’d left behind. Something pricked him inside. He couldn’t tell if it was the ice in his veins or the fiery rage she ignited.

 

 

Years of resolution, indifference and carefully crafted separation. A century of convictions. All shaken in the wake of one slip of an amber eyed witch. _How dare you, Yoshina Shihoin?_ He cursed her.

 

 

All these years he had thought there was nothing in him that felt anything intensely. But today, he felt it. He felt the rage boil his blood in reminiscence of his younger days. He felt the hate. He felt it. He felt it with a passion he’d never thought was possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Yoshina” loosely means good, virtuous, charitable, and kind. It also means apple tree but obviously that is not relevant so we are going to ignore it. It may also refer to flowering cherry tree. *wink wink* What an unexpected coincidence?!
> 
> My OC, Yoshina Shihoin, is Yoruichi’s younger sister. She’s shorter and slighter of build, with caramel skin, long violet-black hair tied up meticulously in a bun, and amber/whiskey colored eyes just like her sister. She dresses quite similar too in a black body suit that hugs her figure and does not restrict her movements in anyway. I don’t want to give more away because you’ll find out who she is and what powers she has along the way.
> 
> I will try to keep the originals in character as much as possible but I will take liberties where creativity is necessary.
> 
> Reviews are the fuel that drives the writing. Please review!! THANK YOU!


	2. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is already plotted out to the end. So I will try to update at least every week. Reviews mean so much. If you like this fic (or even if you hate it) please let me know what you think! Thank you, in advance! :) Next update will be sometime around 04.03.2018.

 

Squad 4 members efficiently moved about on top of the Sokyoku Hill. Orders were given to attend to the wounded – Captain Komamura, Lieutenant Abarai, and Captain Kuchiki. Their injuries were grave indeed. Graver was the fact that it had been one of their own that had inflicted them. It is the betrayal one doesn’t see coming that is truly frightening.

 

 

Third Seat Iemura glanced at the group of Ryokas huddled together healing their own. Once invaders, now dubbed the saviors of Soul Society. A common enemy had united them in their time of need.

 

 

The treachery of Captain Sousuke Aizen had shaken them all down to the roots. _How many years had he plotted this betrayal?_ He had been a Captain to look up to. Even Iemura had held him in a position of utmost respect in his mind. But his loyalty and service to Soul Society had all been nothing but a lie. Years of trust, shaken. Decades of solidarity, broken, irreparably in the matter of minutes.

 

 

 

Captain Unohana’s arrival relieved Iemura’s apprehension. Her calm demeanor was an oasis in the middle of all the chaos. At least one thing he could put his faith in.

 

 

He updated her on the current status of those being healed on Sokyoku Hill. Seeing that the Ryoka were taking care of their own just fine, she settled down by Captain Kuchiki’s side.

 

 

 

“Oh, Captain Kuchiki,” she said. “You were _very_ reckless.”

 

 

 

His breathing was uneven but she knew he would live. She called out to Rukia Kuchiki, the Captain’s adopted sister, knowing that her patient would be alleviated by the knowledge that whom he had so recklessly thrown himself in front of to protect was finally safe and by his side.

 

 

 

“Rukia,” Captain Kuchiki weakly uttered. “Are you there?”

 

 

 

Rukia knelt down, leaning in to listen better so that he wouldn’t have to strain himself to make himself heard. She couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him. She knew he had had his reasons even though she didn’t understand it herself. He had shielded her with his own body from the blade that would have taken her life. Now here he lay, bleeding and weakened from the very wounds he’d incurred on her behalf.

 

 

 

“Yes, I’m right here,” she said tremulously and held his hand.

* * *

 

 

 

 

From traitorous outsiders to saviors of Soul Society. _How fickle these labels are_ , Yoshina thought as she watched the orange light of Orihime’s power heal Ichigo. It was laughable really. But now was neither the time nor the place.

 

 

 

The battle was over. Ichigo had held his own against Byakuya and won. Rukia Kuchiki was saved. Sousuke Aizen’s true nature was revealed.

 

 

 

Finally. _Finally_ everyone knew the truth that Kisuke, Yoruichi, and Yoshina had known for over a hundred years. The truth that had burdened them. The truth that had condemned them.

 

 

 

Her eyes kept straying. Captain Unohana of Squad Four was diligently at work, kneeling beside Byakuya, healing him.

 

 

 

The blood. She kept seeing it over and over. How the blade had pierced him. How the blood had spurted out staining the ground beneath them. The slightest shift to the left and Gin Ichimaru’s Zanpakuto would have pierced him in the heart.

 

 

 

For a moment, it had been so, _so_ close. Yoshina’s hands trembled from the residual anxiety and fear. She wrapped them around herself to calm her nerves.

 

 

 

Rukia knelt beside him. He was talking to her. Yoshina could not hear the words because his voice, as weakened as he was from his injuries, did not carry across the distance. But she knew. Instinctively, Yoshina knew that he was finally telling Rukia about his wife, Hisana.

 

 

 

_Hisana._

 

 

 

She wanted to be jealous. She wanted to be upset. She wanted to be _something_ but she couldn’t. She could not fault him for how he chose to repair what she had broken. She wished it had been her. She wished she had made a different choice. She wished...but what was the point in wishing for anything now. Wishing was pointless because life never worked out that way. So she chose to be grateful instead for the fact that in her absence he had been loved.

 

 

 

Unexpectedly, across the distance, their eyes met. Yoshina’s widened with surprise, and Byakuya’s remained as expressionless as ever. She wondered if it was his default setting now.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

If there was any kind of romantic notion or whimsy still left in Byakuya, he’d have thought that time stood still as he gazed into her eyes without meaning to. But there wasn’t. Time, loss, and pain had stripped him of any sentiment he had once had.

 

 

 

Pain.

 

 

 

Regret.

 

 

 

Yearning.

 

 

 

He could see every emotion she ever felt reflected in her eyes. That had always been the case with Yoshina. A hundred years, and she hadn’t changed a bit. Well, physically she had obviously. She had grown into herself. Unlike her older sister, she had taken more after her mother. Her build was slight and petite, and her curves more subtle. He hated how he noticed but he was too weak to even beat himself up for it.

 

 

 

All these truths. All these revelations. Ichigo Kurosaki’s convictions and Sousuke Aizen’s betrayal had made him rethink everything. The events of the past few minutes had brought about the undeniable understanding that nothing is ever as it seems. That even the truth one believes like gospel can merely be a carefully woven lie.

 

 

 

Seeing her now, he did not know what to think. For a century, he had believed she was dead. He had mourned her for decades after she had disappeared until he had taught himself to feel nothing so the loss and the pain would not destroy him. He had forced himself to forget.

 

 

 

Yet, here she was, standing a mere distance away, alive and well. A bit worse for wear, which was understandable with what they had all been through. But she _was_ alive. She was well. And she was _here_ , right before his eyes. She was smiling at Kurosaki, he realized. How he had yearned for that very smile to be directed at him once. How he had gone above and beyond to make that curve happen on her lips, to be the reason why she smiled.

 

 

 

But that was neither here nor there. He was glad she was well but a hundred years separated them. There was nothing that could bridge the distance that was between them now.

* * *

 

 

 

Yoruichi appeared right beside her side, blocking Yoshina’s view of where Byakuya was. She wondered if it was an intentional move on her sister’s part. Knowing Yoruichi, it probably was.

 

 

 

“Head Captain Yamamoto wants to speak to us,” Yoruichi informed.

 

 

 

Yoshina’s brows furrowed with confusion. “About what?”

 

 

 

“I think you know,” Yoruichi replied with a knowing look.

 

 

 

Yoshina had some inkling. An inkling that was proven to be accurate once they were at the Squad One barracks, facing the formidable Head Captain of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads.

 

 

 

He gave them the option to stay behind in Soul Society. Yoruichi and Kisuke would be reinstated to the positions held previously by them, and Yoshina would be allowed to take the examinations at the Soul Reaper Academy. She had known it was coming. But now, with this shift in direction dangling in front of her, Yoshina could not decide what to do.

 

 

 

She glanced at her sister to see her reaction. Yoruichi’s answer was plain enough to see. There was no way she was going to stay. Not for an institution that had condemned her and Kisuke without a second thought. Understanding and acceptance now, was simply a hundred years too late. Besides, Yoruichi was too accustomed to the freedom that being in the World of the Living allowed. She was not going to relinquish it. Which meant, this would undoubtedly be Kisuke’s response as well.

 

 

 

“Think it over,” the Head Captain advised, seeing Yoshina Shihoin’s conflicted look. Then he left the hall, leaving the two Shihoin sisters alone.

 

 

 

Yoruichi sighed. “I know where your mind is at, Yoshi,” she said. “Don’t. Don’t do it.”

 

 

 

“Don’t stay here?” Yoshina asked, purposefully playing obtuse. “You have to understand why a part of me wants to. I mean, I never had the opportunity you did. Is it so wrong that I want to attend the academy? That I want to graduate, and be seated upon my own merits as a soul reaper? To make friends and find a family in my squad? Is it so wrong to want that for myself?”

 

 

 

Yoruichi was not fooled by the speech. Not at all. After all, she knew her sister too well. “Don’t stay because of _him_.”

 

 

 

Yoshina gasped, and opened her mouth to retort indignantly at what Yoruichi had insinuated.

 

 

 

Yoruichi stopped her tirade before it began with a hand held up to let her know that she wasn’t done just yet. “I won’t press the matter, Yoshi,” she continued. “You are not a kid anymore and I can’t tell you what to do or what not to do. I can’t protect you from everything either. But Yoshi...” She took her sister’s hand and stared intensely into her eyes. She wanted Yoshina to understand the implications fully before a choice was made. “Don’t change everything about you and your life because of some misguided notion in your head that he is still the same person you once knew. That you can both go back to how things were.”

 

 

 

Yoshina wanted to get angry but she couldn’t. After all, her sister was only looking out for her as a sister would and should. Protecting her interests, as she always had. Yoshina did understand the weight of her decision. But in the end, it was _her_ decision. One she had to make for herself.

 

 

 

“He is not the reason,” she reassured. “At least, not the only one.”

 

 

 

Yoruichi nodded in understanding. It seemed that Yoshina’s mind was made up. She was going to stay back. As much as she wished they could both return to the World of the Living, Yoruichi understood Yoshina’s motivation.

 

 

 

“I’ll tell Kisuke you said goodbye.”

 

 

 

Yoshina hugged her. “I’ll visit. You know I will.”

 

 

 

Yoruichi’s arms tightened around her briefly before letting go. “I know.”

 


	3. Here to Stay

** The Red Tie That Binds **

by Sands

_Chapter 3 – Here to Stay_

 

Renji sat in a chair leaning his head against the wall. As Byakuya slept on the bed, Renji found a moment of rest, letting his eyes close for a bit. His Captain was confined to bed rest for now. Words had almost passed between them before Ichigo had so inopportunely interrupted them but he thought they were in a good place. Not that suddenly everything was fixed but things could maybe return to something resembling normalcy.

 

Captain Kuchiki had been severely injured. Captain Ichimaru – no, the traitor Ichimaru had almost stabbed him in the heart. The battle with Ichigo had not helped matters either.

 

Renji wished he could hate him. Maybe a part of him did for how Rukia had been treated all these years. But when it had truly counted, even though it had taken a Ryoka to open Captain Kuchiki’s eyes to the truth, he had come through for her. And that mattered.

 

Besides, in the end, he was his Captain. There was a sense of loyalty bound with respect that was undeniable.

 

An unfamiliar reiatsu approached. Instantly alert, he opened his eyes. Even as his brain strived to place a name to the face, he instinctively knew who she was. Everyone did. The whole of Soul Society had heard of the woman who had battled his Captain on the bridge.

 

Their eyes met across the distance. Renji didn’t know what to say. Was he supposed to stop her from coming in Was he supposed to...?

 

Suddenly, she smiled at him, effectively disrupting his thought process. “How are you Renji?” she asked him. “Your surgery went well I see.”

 

Her unconscious graciousness disarmed and he found himself responding in kind. “I’m alright,” he said absently rubbing the back of his neck. “Thank you for asking...”

 

“Ah, forgive me,” she replied with a slight bow and a sheepish smile. “Yoshina Shihoin,” she introduced herself. “Just like you, I am a friend of Ichigo Kurosaki and...”

 

“Yoruichi Shihoin’s sister,” he finished for her. His eyes widened in surprise and a heat crept up his face clashing terribly with his very red hair. “Wow! It’s an honor to meet you,” he rushed out nervously.

 

“An honor?” she asked. A blush decorated her face. “Uhm...”

 

“Forgive me,” he said in a more even tone, dialing down his shock. “How can I help you Lady Shihoin?”

 

She waved her hand dismissively, offering another smile. “Please, you don’t have to be so formal with me. You are not a friend of Ichigo, just like me. I’d like to think that makes us friends too in some way. Just call me Yoshina.”

 

“I don’t know...I don’t know if that is proper,” Renji mumbled, uncertain.

 

She grinned mischievously, reminding him for some reason of a cat. “Why don’t we leave all this talk of propriety to your Captain and just be friends instead? Isn’t that easier?”

 

He couldn’t help the answering grin.

 

She glanced at Captain Kuchiki, asleep and resting on the bed. Clearly she was here to see him, Renji realized. And here he was detaining her from it. “I’ll leave you to it then,” he said and left the room, offering them some level of privacy.

 

* * *

 

 

“Oh, Byakuya,” she whispered as she reached his side and knelt by the bed. “You idiot.”

 

Byakuya held back a sigh of exasperation. Only Yoshina Shihoin would dare call him an idiot while he lay in bed, covered mostly in bandages and recovering from battle. Him, a Captain of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads and the Head of the Kuchiki clan. An idiot. Unbelievable.

 

But he said nothing. After all, he was supposed to be asleep. So he focused on keeping his breathing even and listening to whatever she intended to say.

 

“I know you are mad at me, Byakuya,” she continued.

 

Her hand fluttered over his face in the process of brushing his hair aside. Clearly the absence of his kenseikan made his usually immaculate hair unruly and unkempt. His skin tingled where her fingertips lingered. It was only his years and years of experience that allowed him to stay perfectly still through her administrations.

 

“I owe you and explanation. I know that. I just...I just don’t know where to start.”

 

 _At the beginning,_ he thought. _Why didn’t you stay? Why did you let me think you were dead? Why did it never occur to you to come back or at least let me know you were alright?_

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Something wet and unexpected fell on his hand just before she took it in her own. “But I know I did. I know you’d never admit to it. I know you hate me. I am sorry.”

 

He couldn’t see her as his eyes were closed in his feigned sleep but he could see her in his mind. Head bowed, violet hair probably tumbling out of her top knot, and face smoothed out in solemnity. He wanted to see for himself, but he resisted.

 

“I’m so, _so_ sorry,” she repeated, her voice breaking a little on the last word. She was crying, he realized.

 

Byakuya hated the sudden impulse he felt to squeeze her hand and comfort her somehow. He was _not_ that person anymore. She was not his to comfort either. But it was just instinct. The impulse was there. He could crush it, ignore it, and pretend it didn’t exist but it was there. And he resigned himself to accept it for what it was.

 

“The Head Captain offered me an opportunity to stay,” she told him.

 

 _Oh_ , he thought in surprise. He had not expected that but maybe he should have. Three of their Captains had defected. There were vacancies that needed to be filled and she was a Shihoin. It was a calculated call on the Head Captain’s part.

 

“I’ll have to go to the academy. Not completely of course. I’ll have to just sit through the exams and take part in the Skill Display.” She laughed a little and he could hear the excitement almost make her voice bubbly. “A hundred years too late, I know, but better late than never right?”

 

So she was going to stay. He didn’t know how he felt about that. But the thought of her being in the same place as he was made him feel a bit strange. He was not prepared to delve into and in-depth analysis of what exactly that feeling meant just yet.

 

“I’m not staying for you,” she informed him evenly. It almost sounded like she was rather telling it more to herself than him. Her hand tightened around his in an intimate gesture he didn’t expect as it was in complete contradiction with her words a moment before. “But...maybe it could be an opportunity for us to fix things between us.”

 

 _Fix what you broke, you mean?_ He thought a bit bitterly. He couldn’t help it. He had had a hundred years to cultivate this bitterness. A hundred years to let it grow and fester within him, making him miserable. It was petty of him but wanted her to be miserable too. Just like he had been for year – no, decades – after she had abandoned him.

 

The rustle of air around her alerted him to her movements. She stood up. He felt her reiatsu drift further and further away letting him know that she had left his room. He opened his eyes just in time to watch her retreating back.

 

He looked at the hand she had held. It still held the warmth of her skin. Some unknown scent that was undoubtedly Yoshina’s circled around him – reminding him of fresh rain and lemon. He was so aware of her, it unnerved him.

 

He couldn’t let this happen. He could not let her affect him like this. He hadn’t expected for her to stay and this effectively put a wrench in his plans to ignore her existence for all of eternity.

 

He had to shut her out. He had to. That was the only way for him to protect his sanity.


	4. Showing Off

** The Red Tie That Binds **

by Sands

_Chapter 4 – Showing Off_

 

 

The fortnight in the academy flew by.

 

It was no hardship at all for Yoshina to excel at almost everything. She had had her sister, the Flash Goddess Yoruichi Shihoin, for training in the art of Shunpo. Kisuke Urahara had trained her in the way of the sword as well as strategy. And it was Tessai Tsukabishi, the former Captain of the Kido Corps, that had trained her in Kido to almost perfect a skill she had a natural talent for. On top of all that, she had had a hundred years to practice and hone her abilities. The exams were honestly nothing to worry about.

 

Soon the day of the Skill Display was upon them. She could hear the bustle of the arena outside. Everyone who was anyone in Soul Society was here to see her showcase her abilities. There were here for one purpose only - to evaluate and see whether or not she was a worthy candidate for their respective squads. It was true that she only wanted to impress one particular Captain but her pride demanded that she do exceptionally well anyway. She had to. She was a Shihoin after all.

 

"Nervous?" a voice asked, making Yoshina turn around.

 

She had been so distracted with her own thoughts that she hadn't sensed the approach. In another time, in another place, this would have meant her death. She mentally chided herself for that.

 

But for now, it was just Rukia Kuchiki. She offered a tentative smile. "A little bit," she admitted. "Everyone's out there. All the Captains and the Lieutenants. The strongest Soul Reapers of all of Soul Society. Can you blame me?"

 

Rukia smiled back, her violet eyes softening in understanding. "Well you shouldn't be. You breezed through the academy. You  _do_  know that everyone's calling you the Shihoin prodigy right?"

 

"What?" Yoshina exclaimed in surprise. This was the first she was hearing of this.

 

"Well they are!" Rukia confirmed. "So you shouldn't doubt yourself either."

 

A brow quirked. "You do know that I had like a hundred years to train right? That means I am just exceptionally well trained and nowhere close to a prodigy. You do know that right?"

 

An unexpected laugh escaped from Rukia before she quickly smoothed her features. "Well, I think after all that's happened, everyone just needs something good to believe in. Right now, that's you," she said solemnly. "And I've seen you fight, remember? You fought the strongest Soul Reaper I know," she said referring to Yoshina's now infamous battle with Byakuya on the bridge. "You held your own against Byakuya Kuchiki himself."

 

"Rukia," Yoshina deadpanned. "Your brother left a very gaping hole in my shoulder. If he hadn't consciously shifted his aim, I'd be dead right now."

 

Rukia bit back a smile. It was true. But she wasn't about to let that stop her. "You survived, didn't you?" she countered. "There aren't many who can say that.

 

Yoshina nodded in agreement. Rukia did have a point. Yoshina had seen just how strong and powerful Byakuya had become over the years in his final battle with Ichigo.

 

"What I'm trying to say here is simple," Rukia continued. "You shouldn't be nervous." The younger girl offered a reassuring smile and made a move to return to the arena.

 

"Rukia," Yoshina called out, making her glance back. "Thank you."

 

"Good luck," Rukia said smiling back.

 

Yoshina knew Ichigo would never risk everything for someone unless they truly deserved it. But she hadn't expected Rukia to be this...well, this  _nice_. She was genuinely considerate and without artifice. She hadn't expected anyone to be this nice to someone they barely even knew.

 

Then again, the events few weeks ago were the kind that bound those involved together. They had almost died trying to save Rukia. They had all been collectively betrayed in the most unexpected way. Things like that created a bond. One that transcended everything.

 

Yoshina was just glad that she had at least one friend in Soul Society.

* * *

 

 

Captain Kyoraku lazed around, lounging on three or four chairs. Possibly asleep. His stupid straw hat covered his face so Nanao couldn't really say. She had had to practically drag him to this. Well, she had to practically drag him to anything actually work related. If it had anything to with sake though, her Captain needed no persuasion whatsoever.

 

Captain Kyoraku felt Nanao straighten up next to him. He lifted off from his comfortable position to peek at the arena below. The candidate had arrived and Nanao was all ready to take down notes for future reference. Little Nanao. Glasses perched on her nose, so serious and so conscientious. He always found himself wanting to ruffle her feathers.

 

Eyeing the arriving candidate, he murmured, "My, my. She's quite the looker."

 

He didn't have to glance at her to see Nanao glare at him. "What did you say, Captain?" she asked, indignation creeping into her voice.

 

"I think we should bid for her," Kyoraku said contemplatively.

 

If he looked carefully, he could see a vein throb on her temple. "Captain! You haven't even seen a single skill she possesses!"

 

"I've seen enough," he said wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. Would his little Nanao explode?

 

"Captain!" she exclaimed. "You are truly a despicable man." With a huff of annoyance, she turned away resolutely focusing on the scene down below.

 

The candidate, Yoshina Shihoin, was first displaying her skill with the sword. Her unreleased Zanpakuto was used against a lower seated officer of Squad 11. Her stances and strength may not have been perfect but she made up for it more than adequately in speed. Nanao scribbled away taking note of everything.

 

"Did I miss anything?" Captain Ukitake asked finding his seat next to his longtime friend. His third seat officers, Kiyone Kotetsu and Sentaro Kotsubaki settled in behind him protectively.

 

"Not much at all. They just began," Nanao informed him.

 

"Nanao doesn't think Yoshina Shihoin is pretty so she won't let her into our squad," Kyoraku complained teasingly.

 

Jushiro Ukitake couldn't hold back the smile. His friend took every opportunity to annoy and tease his lieutenant. Jushiro knew it came from a place of a deeper emotion so he couldn't bring himself to reprimand Shunsui for his impropriety.

 

"It seems that everyone's here. All the captains and lieutenants," Jushiro commented.

 

Kyoraku looked around in agreement. It sure did seem that way. In fact, even old man Yama had shown up with Sasakibe to see how the  _Shihoin prodigy_ fared.

 

"No one representing Squad six is here," Nanao pointed out objectively not even bothering to look away from the arena, as focused as she was.

 

The skill display continued on. They had now moved on to Shunpo and some officers of Squad Two were testing the candidate's skill. It was evident that Yoshina Shihoin's skill and talent in that regard was something to contend with.  _Way above average,_ Nanao noted down.

 

Kyoraku peeked at her scribbles and she tapped his knuckles with her pen. Her narrowed eyes made him pout and revert his attention back to the arena.

 

"It's true," Ukitake observed, his eyes scanning the audience. "Neither Captain Kuchiki nor Lieutenant Abarai is here. Squad Six seems to be boycotting the whole event. I wonder why."

 

By the time they moved on to Kido, there was no doubt in anyone's mind just how skilled Yoshina Shihoin was. She was a bit unpolished and her techniques slightly unorthodox in some cases, but she was talented and exceptionally well trained. Any squad that gains her would truly benefit from what she had to offer.

 

An officer from the Kido Corps bowed before Shihoin to commence their sparring. Back and forth they struck at each other.

 

Nanao, from her distance, could not hear things clearly but she tried to read lips. She quickly realized that in some instances, Shihoin wasn't even saying the name of the spells, let alone the incantation. "That's very impressive."

 

"Is it not?" Ukitake beamed. "She fought the same way with Captain Kuchiki on the bridge that day. I found it truly remarkable." Nanao couldn't agree more.

 

A bakudo was used to bind Shihoin's hands behind her back. Effectively immobilized that way, she was left wide open. At least until in an unprecedented move that has never been performed before, she fired a kido from the tips of her toes accompanied with a kick. The lightning moved in an arc, and the Kido Corp officer could not defend against the attack he hadn't seen coming.

 

Nanao stood up with a gasp. Eyes widened in disbelief, she asked no one in particular, "What  _was_ that?"

 

Even Captain Ukitake had risen for a better look. "I believe that was Byakurai." He seemed confused as well.

 

"But...but she fired it using her foot. I've never heard of it ever being performed in such a manner."

 

"Neither have I, to be honest," Ukitake said.

 

"Lightning shouldn't move in an arc," Nanao added. "Is it not supposed to be a straight line? How is she manipulating Kido this way in moves that even our Kido Corps cannot anticipate?"

 

The same question was in the mind of everyone who had observed just what had transpired. Before the skill display was truly completed, every squad was in a rush to make a bid for the new candidate.

 

Every squad but Squad Six of course.

 

* * *

 

 

Renji hummed his way through the squad barracks on his way back to his office. It had been a slow day. The Captain was busy and had dismissed Renji from tagging along, the work load was minimal considering how hard the Captain had been hitting the paperwork lately way into the night, and he had just had a very satisfying training session with some lower seated officers.

 

All in all, Renji was in quite a good mood. Fine, if he admitted it to himself, running into Rukia unexpectedly earlier in the day had brightened him up. He was pathetic. How cliché it was to pine after his best friend...but still. Renji was in high spirits and nothing could bring him down.

 

He let himself into the office. The sight that greeted him, stopped the humming midway.

 

_This was not good._

 

“Captain!” he exclaimed, slightly shocked to see Byakuya at the desk working on some squad related documents. “What are you _doing_ here?”

 

“This is still my office, Renji, last I checked,” Captain Kuchiki replied evenly, not even bothering to look up from the papers in front of him.

 

Gaping like a fish was unbecoming, Renji realized, so he closed his mouth and focused on the matter at hand.

 

“No, I mean weren’t you supposed to go to the Skill Display?” Renji asked. Byakuya looked up at that. A raised brow was the only response he received from his Captain. “You said you’d go, remember?” Renji added.

 

“I said no such thing,” Byakuya said dismissively, returning his attention to the documents on his desk. “I said you don’t have to go to it.”

 

“I assumed I didn’t have to go because you would,” Renji claimed but even as the words left his mouth, he realized his mistake. This was Captain Kuchiki. He shouldn’t have assumed anything.

 

He didn’t understand though. From what he could see, his Captain clearly had history with Yoshina Shihoin. He’s assumed, out of respect for that, the Captain himself would attend. Still it was not his place to assume nor to analyze. Captain Kuchiki lived by what he deemed was right and important. The rest of the world be damned.

 

“If that is all, Captain...” Renji said, taking his leave. He’d come into the office for something but he found he didn’t remember what it was exactly anymore. He felt stifled for some reason and he simply wanted to make his exit as quickly as possible.

 

“That is all,” Byakuya said.

 

When the door closed softly, Byakuya looked up from his desk. Maybe it was unprofessional of him to boycott an official Soul Society event but it couldn’t be helped. He had already made up his mind to have nothing whatsoever to do with Yoshina Shihoin.

 

She was detrimental to his peace, and anything that stood in his way had to be eliminated.

 

The past was in the past. This was now. Yoshina and he were never meant to coincide.

* * *

 

 

The moment the event concluded, Captain Soi-Fon found Yoshina with the intention of speaking to her.

 

“Your skill would do well in the Stealth Force,” Captain Soi-Fon declared. “Lady Yoruichi would prefer that I believe.” Then she walked away, leaving Yoshina slightly disgruntled.

 

 _Lady Yoruichi would prefer I did whatever I pleased,_ Yoshina thought a bit irately. She could not pinpoint what it was but something about Captain Soi-Fon prickled her.

 

The appearance of a tall Captain with long white hair interrupted her thoughts. His brown eyes on a very familiar face seemed to smile down at her. She recognized him instantly.

 

“Captain Ukitake,” she greeted respectfully, offering a courteous bow.

 

“Yoshina Shihoin,” he said in response, his smile now extending to his lips. “Your skill is truly impressive. Have you thought of which squad to choose? I’m sure you must have some inkling by now.”

 

“I am considering,” she said diplomatically without giving away her intentions just yet.

 

She recalled the dual Zanpakuto that had battle the Head Captain himself that fateful day two weeks ago. She had not seen the battle herself but what she had heard from reports and other soul reapers had helped her make up her mind quite easily. It was that day she had decided – there was only one squad that could truly help her grow.

 

“I hope you keep Squad 13 in your consideration then,” he said. Then he added thoughtfully, “And even if you don’t, if you ever need any help or guidance, you can always come to me. Any friend of Rukia Kuchiki I consider to be a friend of my own.” With those kind and accepting words, Captain Ukitake left.

 

A few days later, it was announced that Yoshina Shihoin had been made the fourth seat of Squad 13, the only squad she had ever truly considered.


	5. Waiting for Rain

** The Red Tie That Binds **

by Sands

_Chapter 5 – Waiting for Rain_

 

 

The last few days had passed by without much event. Captain Kuchiki had been focused on both training himself and Renji to better their combatant skills. As much as he hated to admit it, Renji’s new Bankai helped him grow his own skill. Though yet not even close to being on par with his own, it was something to test his own strength against.

 

 

More often than not, his days at the Squad left Byakuya exhausted and he preferred it that way. It made his evening tea and stroll in the garden at night far more relaxing and deserving.

 

 

It also kept his mind at bay. No thoughts of amber plagued his mind. At least not for long. Exhaustion always won out in the end. He was too tired to think about anything.

 

 

Perhaps that was why he was so distracted that when the reiatsu appeared, he didn’t sense it until it was too late.

 

 

He wondered if he had conjured her up by simply thinking of her.

 

 

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” she said, offering a small smile.

 

 

 _Why was she here?_ He wondered. Was it purely to thwart his carefully laid plans of never interacting with her? He had known how impractical it would be considering he was a Captain of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads of which she was a member now. Yet he had hoped and with tact it would have been possible. Somewhat. But here she was. In his home. In his private garden. In the most inopportune moment.

 

 

He noticed her attire. She was in her soul reaper uniform. It was different though. Similar to the way her sister had worn it, her shoulders were left open in a sleeveless modified uniform. Though unnoticeable to the untrained eyes, Byakuya clearly saw that it was slightly shorter than what was considered traditional as well.

 

 

“What are you doing here?” he asked unceremoniously.

 

 

“I wanted to talk to you,” she said simply. “You have been avoiding me.”

 

 

Byakuya didn’t respond to that. Instead he asked, “How did you get inside the Kuchiki mansion?”

 

 

She rolled her eyes at him. A gesture that reminded him of far more things than he was ready to deal with at the moment. “I know this house like the back of my hand, Byakuya,” she told him impishly. “It’s been a hundred years but things haven’t changed that much.”

 

 

Ignoring everything she said, he focused only on one thing. “It’s _Captain_ Kuchiki to you.” He knew he probably sounded petulant. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

 

Her face remained the same, the smile in place. Her eyes told a different story, he realized. Her emotions were always so obvious in their depths and in those gold eyes he could see the hurt inflicted by his words. _Good,_ he thought pettily and chided himself for his uncharacteristic thought.

 

 

She sighed in resignation. “Really? Is that how you want to do this?” she asked him but received no response. “I understand you’re mad at me. But please try to understand. I had a duty to fulfil. Surely you of all people must understand that.”

 

 

“Duty?” he asked, his tone of voice implying that her answer did not matter either way to him.

 

 

She replied anyway. “A duty to my sister. I couldn't abandon her to her exile! Why don't you see that?" she asked him, her face animated in a plea beseeching him to see things from her point of view.

 

 

He did. At least he tried to. But all he could think of was, _What about your duty to me? Did that mean nothing?_ He almost voiced it but bit back the words in time.

 

 

Yoshino watched his face and though his expression remained impassive, she could tell he had thoughts running across his mind. She could see it behind his eyes. But his lips pursed together, he remained silent.

 

 

"Say it," she goaded him, eyes narrowed. "Whatever you thought just now, go ahead and freaking say it, _Captain Kuchiki_." Her use of his title was a mockery and not an ounce of respect was in her tone. He sensed the sarcasm just fine.

 

 

The sakura blossom fell off of its perch on the tree next to them. It seemed to fall slowly. So slowly as if time was suspended for a moment between them. The moonlight shone down upon them but his face was in shadow, unreadable. He could see her clearly though.

 

 

She was angry at him. Her lips pressed together in a thin line, and her eyes flashing at him. Her nostrils were flared. She was vibrating with emotion and it brought to mind their first kiss. She’d reacted the same, all passion and energy, when he had kissed her that day. He hated how remembered it still, like it was just yesterday and not a century ago. He hated himself for remembering it. Anger at himself made him  reckless with his words.

 

 

"There's nothing left to say," he said tonelessly. "Not to you. You and I are done."

 

 

He walked away, leaving her in the dark, despite how brightly the moon shone in the sky above her.

 

* * *

 

 

_Done._

 

_Done._

 

_Done._

 

Byakuya’s words left her reeling. _You and I are done._

 

 

They reverberated in her mind, making her stand motionless, unable to comprehend the gravity. He meant it. She had seen just how he had meant it. His mind was made up for there to ever be even a chance of any kind of reconciliation.

 

She had snuck herself into the Kuchiki mansion, excited to tell him of her new placement. Now she wondered why she had even done that. After all, he hadn’t even showed up for the skill display. It was never explicitly said, but she was aware that his squad was the only one that had not placed a bid to recruit her. And yet, even knowing all that, she had shown up here in the middle of the night.

 

 

This was not the Byakuya she knew. This was the Byakuya that had been willing to let his own sister be executed than let go of his clan’s pride and his own sense of justice. This was the Byakuya that had almost _killed_ her. This was not _her_ Byakuya but she kept expecting this man seemingly made wholly of ice to be replaced by the one she knew and loved.

 

 

Why was she waiting for rain in a desert? What was she even thinking?

 

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

 

 

“ _Stupid is right,”_ the cold monotonous voice said in her head. _“Ironic analogy. Points for that.”_

 

 

Yoshina groaned to herself. Of all the times for _that_ voice to speak up.

 

 

“ _My my, it seems you are not too happy to hear from me, Yoshi.”_

 

Months. After months and months of refusing to communicate despite how much Yoshina had tried, _Inazuma_ chose the least opportune moment to make herself known. And that too to remind her how stupid and pathetic she was.

 

 

 _“I didn’t say pathetic,”_ Inazuma pointed out. _“But if you think so, I agree.”_

 

Clearly all her Zanpakuto wanted was to insult her. Why in the world did she have to be stuck with the least personable Zanpakuto in the entire existence?

 

 

 _“I’m a reflection of you, you stupid child,”_ Inazuma said rolling her eyes. Well, Yoshina imagined that was what she was doing. Not like Inazuma had ever appeared or granted her entrance to her own inner world yet.

 

 

 _Well, if you are a reflection of me, and I am a stupid child, what does that make you?_ Yoshina thought pettily.

 

 

She waited a beat for the condescending retort, but it never came. Months of silence and her Zanpakuto only had four sentences to say to her.

 

 

_Don’t leave me, Inazuma. Not now. Not when I need you the most._

 

But there was no response.

 

As annoying and stubborn as her sword was, she despised her inner conflict. She knew she had just wasted a chance to resolve things. An opportunity to at least take a step in that direction. But now Inazuma was once more resorting to giving her the complete silent treatment.

 

 

With a heavy sigh, she made up her mind.

 

 

She had stayed behind for a reason. She had chosen Squad 13 for a reason. It was time to pursue the path she has chosen with careful consideration. To set things in motion.

 

 

 _Tomorrow_ , she told herself. _Tomorrow it begins._

* * *

 

Deep down inside, in an almost untouched world, azure hair blew about in the wind. The land was dry. Leaves fell off the dying tree, parched from thirst. The level of water in the pond decreased with passing day. The sky was bright, the sun blue yet merciless. The air that flowed was so arid, it was just dust. Ash.

 

 

Yet at a distance, further than it should be, a storm was brewing. Nothing too big. Just a gathering of grey clouds, sparking against one another.

 

 

 _Finally,_ the azure haired woman thought, her electric blue eyes gazing wistfully to the distance.

 

 

 _Tomorrow,_ she murmured, smiling to herself. _Tomorrow it begins._


	6. Purpose

**The Red Tie That Binds**

by Sands

_Part 6 – Purpose_

 

 

When Ukitake woke up, it was still dark outside. Usually, his early rising was not voluntary but forced on by his ill health. It was hard to get a full night’s sleep when you were almost always trying to cough out your lungs, he supposed.

 

 

Today felt a bit different. It was one of the better days and he was grateful for it. He tied his long white hair behind with a simple strip of leather and got ready. By the time the sky lightened with the first rays of the sun, he was sitting just outside his office, sipping tea and witnessing the sunrise.

 

 

Every morning was a gift, he thought. That was how it was. That was what it meant to be a soul reaper. When you risk your life every single day to protect the balance of the universe, every new day was a blessing. In the end, not a moment in their lives was guaranteed.

 

 

For Ukitake, it was even more so. With his condition, though he had survived it for what was close to two millennia now, every morning, every moment, and every breath was a gift. So he basked in the sunlight, letting the soft rays warm his face. He sipped his artfully brewed green tea. The fresh fragrance of dew and the warm cup in his hands did wonders to make him feel so very glad to just be alive.

 

 

He sensed her presence before he even saw her. It was hard to miss the distinctive reiatsu. Strong, yet unsteady.

 

 

“Come in, Yoshina,” he called out before she could even officially announce her presence.

 

 

Dressed in the standard black uniform, his newest recruit entered with a gracious bow. He motioned for her to sit and offered a warm smile.

 

 

“Here so early. Would you like some tea?”

 

 

She settled down next to him. Legs tucked under herself, and hands folded over the other on her lap, she made quite the demure picture. _You could take the girl out of the nobility but not the nobility out of the girl_ , Ukitake thought with a small smile to himself.

 

 

“Thank you, Captain.” Taking the offered cup of tea in hand, she looked at him, her amber eyes more serious than ever. “I wanted to talk to you about my training.”

 

 

“Training?” Ukitake echoed. “Already?”

 

 

“Yes, Captain Ukitake. I was hoping I could train in the Squad 13 training grounds,” she said. Then added hesitantly, “With you.”

 

 

“Me?” Ukitake asked, his brown eyes widening. It made him seem far younger than he was.

 

 

In fact, Yoshina noticed that his deposition seemed to be much healthier today. She was glad for that. It served her purpose well.

 

 

Ukitake sipped a bit of his tea, taking time to think it over before he replied. He noticed how her hands were still and her cup remained untouched. Her gaze was focused on him intently. Expectant. It was evident that this was very important to her. She was practically waiting with bated breath for his response.

 

 

“Shall we finish our tea first though?” he asked, his eyes twinkling, hoping to lighten her mood.

 

 

He could have sworn he heard her finally release the breath she had been holding. With a relieved smile, she sipped her own tea.

 

 

In the comforting silence that ensued, Ukitake realized that everything has a purpose. He woke up this morning, feeling healthier than usual, perhaps for this very purpose – to train his new recruit. And he wondered if Yoshina Shihoin had specifically chosen this squad for a purpose too. Nothing is coincidental. Everything has a purpose. Ukitake was perceptive enough to see it.

 

 

But he had no intention of pushing for answers. Not today. His curiosity was peaked but he hadn’t lived to be where he was without learning perfectly well how to reign it when necessary.

 

 

“So what specifically did you have in mind?” he asked her.

 

 

She glanced nervously at the Zanpakuto she had left leaning against the door frame before sitting down. “I want to train my Shikai. It is a bit...well... _hard_ to control.”

 

 

“I don’t understand. You already have a Shikai?” Ukitake asked, brows furrowed. Yoshina nodded. “Why didn’t you perform your Shikai at the Skill Display?” he asked her, curiously. “You could have been placed higher than a mere 4th seat. Even a lieutenant.”

 

 

She shrugged. The gesture reminded him less of nobility and more of Yoruichi’s careless indifference. “Like I said, it’s a bit hard to control. _Inazuma_ , my Zanpakuto, is a temperamental one.”

 

 

“Inazuma,” Ukitake repeated. “The lightning dance,” he said accurately interpreting the name. “Sounds beautiful.”

 

 

“Beautiful?” Yoshina scoffed. “More like beautifully deadly. She’d end up killing me if my survival wasn’t essential for her own.”

 

 

Ukitake couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. It was a bit of a tricky situation. He had very limited experience with troublesome zanpakutos. His have been always agreeable. He hadn’t had trouble with them in anyway. Not even at the start. Shunsui on the other hand had far more experience with this kind of thing. He almost suggested that they ask for his help but held back. Clearly she chose him, as sick as he was, for a reason. A purpose so to say.

 

 

“Well, I’m excited to meet her,” he said kindly.

 

 

As he rose from his seat, she did the same. The walk to the training grounds was slow and quiet. Yoshina was deep in her own thoughts, thinking of what might happen now that she has chosen this path. Ukitake was contemplative as well, but his face remained impassive.

 

 

Upon arriving at the training grounds, Ukitake glanced at her, motioning for her to unsheathe her Zanpakuto. For a heartbeat, her hands hesitated on her hilt before complying. She hoped he didn’t notice, but nothing got past Captain Ukitake.

 

 

“You are hesitant,” he observed.

 

 

“I haven’t done this in a very long time.”

 

 

He smiled in understanding. “I know we haven’t known each other long. Almost not at all. So it would be unfair of me to ask you to place your trust in me so soon. But I hope, that with time, you would learn to have faith in me and my ability to help you.” She saw the unwavering trust in his brown eyes. Eyes kindly offering her acceptance. Eyes offering her faith in her when she had almost no faith in herself. “You don’t have to be afraid, Yoshina,” he continued. “This squad is your family now. You can rely on us.”

 

 

His words helped Yoshina forge ahead with her decision. Instead of giving false encouragement that she could do this, her Captain was letting her know that she could trust in him. People did not give credit to how perceptive Captain Ukitake was, she realized.

 

 

 

“We have an audience it seems,” Captain Ukitake remarked with a smile.

 

 

It was possible that they had been spotted on their way to the training grounds. It would not have been too hard to put two and two together. And news in the soul society did travel fast. Soon enough, there were several squad members surrounding them trying to seem nonchalant and discreet about it. But the purpose of their presence was obvious – they were all here to witness the _Shihoin Prodigy_ train with their Captain.

 

 

Noticing her discomfort with the crowd, he added, “Don’t worry. I’m sure they are just excited to see me up and about. I can order them away, if you like.”

 

 

“I’m not shy, Captain,” Yoshina said bluntly. “I don’t want them to get hurt.”

 

 

Ukitake’s eyes widened at what she had implied. “In that case...” he said, and turned to the students and lower ranking officers. “Everyone! I need you to step back and duck down.” When none of them made a move to obey, he pointedly looked at Kiyone, telling her without words to make it happen.

 

 

“You heard him!” Kiyone yelled. “If the Captain says get back and duck down, you do it, you hear!” It was remarkable how easily her voice got the rest of the squad in line.

 

 

Seeing that all was as it should be, Ukitake returned his attention to Yoshina. “Now then, shall we begin?”

 

 

She pointedly looked at his sword, still safely tucked away at his waist. “You have to release you Zanpakuto, Captain.”

 

 

“I don’t think that is necessary yet,” Ukitake said, a little confused. _Just what was her Zanpakuto’s ability?_ He wondered. She was so cautious about it.

 

 

“If I hit you with Inazuma’s power, you have to be ready to redirect it.”

 

 

With those words of explanation, understanding dawned. “Ah. This is why you chose our squad isn’t it?” he asked, smiling.

 

 

She returned it hesitantly. “I confess I did hear about Sogyo no Kotowari’s release when you battled the Head Captain on Sokyoku Hill. And yes,” she admitted, “it may have been the deciding factor.”

 

 

“Very conniving of you, Fourth Seat Shihoin,” he said, but his words lacked any malice. “Very well then.” He unsheathed his sword. With the release command, Sogyo no Kotowari split to become two swords connected by a red rope like chain with five silver talismans in between.

 

 

Yoshina grasped her sword in hand as well. She took a deep breath to steady herself and hoped that this would work. Hands tightening on the hilt of her Zanpakuto, she uttered her own release command. “Illuminate, Inazuma.”

 

 

The sword vibrated in her grasp, though it was not obvious to those looking on. Not even Captain Ukitake could see it. But standing a mere feet away, he could sense the release of energy vibrating across the air.

 

 

Yoshina’s sword split to become two. She cautiously rubbed the two swords against each other. The motion increased the vibrations instantly, making lightning spark up and down the two blades.

 

 

Ukitake couldn’t hide his amazement. The only two dual zanpakutos he was aware of belonged to Shunsui and himself. Now here was another. And a powerful one at that. The mere release unleashed a rush of reiatsu that was hard to comprehend in one so young. “Impressive,” Ukitake remarked. “Let’s see what it does, shall we?”

 

 

Yoshina motioned to the left with her head. “Are you in anyway attached to that tree over there?”

 

 

Ukitake glanced at the old tree a bit further away from the training ground. “Not in particular,” he replied. That tree was barely alive as it was.

 

 

She lifted one sword and the simple movement released its power. No command. Nothing. She simply directed the sword at the tree and a beautiful azure light, sparking and vibrating with electricity, was released. The barely alive tree, died for good. It burned to ash instantly before their eyes.

 

 

Once where the tree had stood, there was now only ash.

 

 

“Oh, my,” Ukitake murmured. “That is powerful indeed.”

 

 

“That’s at its weakest.”

 

 

Ukitake’s eyes widened once more. It seemed Yoshina Shihoin surprised the Captain far more than he thought possible at his age. He thought he’d heard it all and seen it all. Clearly not. “There’s more?” he asked.

 

 

She glanced at his zanpakutos in his hands. “You have the talismans between your two swords that amplify any power you absorb. I absorb energy too. I run it through a sword to strike lightning wherever it points. That’s what you saw just now,” she explained. “But with a conduit, my power can be amplified as well.”

 

 

Ukitake curiously glanced at her two swords. They were not connected like his was. “But your swords aren’t connected.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized his error. “Ah. You are the conduit?”

 

 

She nodded in agreement. “It’s risky. I’ve done it only once in my entire life and it did not end well. Not well at all.” The memory still haunted her. The lightning, the electricity, the finality of it. She brushed it off and took a breath to steady herself.

 

 

 _“Don’t you do it, Yoshi! You can’t! I forbid you!”_ the voice of her Zanpakuto screamed in her head. Inazuma has broken her silence. She was so mad, the voice reverberated in Yoshina’s skull.

 

 

 _Why are you always trying to hold me back goddamn it?_ Yoshina yelled back in her own mind.

 

 

Ukitake, oblivious to the inner conversation, could only see how Yoshina’s hands trembled. As curious as he was to see the full extent of her power, he could tell it wasn’t time.

 

 

“I think we should stop for today,” he announced.

 

 

“We haven’t even started,” Yoshina protested, weakly. Internally, though, she felt slightly relieved. An angry Zanpakuto was an uncooperative Zanpakuto. A risk.

 

 

“I don’t think it is your Shikai that needs work. It is your bond with your Zanpakuto,” Ukitake said contemplatively. “You’re hesitant. You’re cautious. Why?”

 

 

He was asking a question that she didn’t want to answer. For answering it, also meant admitting a weakness. But she knew he needed to know. If she wasn’t honest with her Captain, how could she hope for him to truly help her past this.

 

 

“She doesn’t think me worthy,” she murmured, her gaze focused on her own two feet.

 

 

“Prove her wrong,” he said simply.

 

 

She glanced up at him. Her captain’s face was still warm and welcoming as ever. She couldn’t see the judgment and disappointed she had expected upon her admission.

 

 

“I don’t know how.”

 

 

Inazuma reverted back to her unreleased state. Ukitake sheathed his own and walked up to her.

 

 

“Find a quiet place to meditate. Seek her out in your inner world,” he instructed. Her disbelieving face was laughable but he remained solemn. It was far too important and he wanted her to understand the gravity of his words. “I know it’s a bit seemingly passive. But unlike other kinds of training where you can actively improve your skill, your Zanpakuto doesn’t quite work that way. I can teach you the stances and the techniques, but it is your Zanpakuto that can tell you how to wield its power.”

 

 

The words sounded familiar, and Yoshina realized that Kisuke had told her the exact same thing once long ago. As disinclined as she was to accept that this was the way, she realized that two people she truly respected would not say the same thing unless it held some truth.

 

 

“Just try it,” Captain Ukitake urged.

 

 

Yoshina nodded, in acceptance.

 

 

To delve into her own mind. To find Inazuma in her terriroty and confront her. It felt daunting. Far more than she was prepared to handle. But it was necessary. As terrified as she was, Yoshina knew it had to be done.

 

 


	7. In an Eternal Desert

**The Red Tie that Binds**

by Sands

_Chapter 7 – In an Eternal Desert_

* * *

The sight that greeted her in her inner world made Yoshina pause.

 

The vast lake that was the center of it all was almost dried up. If she stepped in, the water might not even reach her waist. The tree that had always stood on the bank had never born leaves of any kind but it seemed deader somehow, if that was possible. The air itself felt different. Dust. Ash. More desert than the lush lake paradise it had been.

 

 _How had things changed so much?_  The effect of a hundred years was evident for her to see. It was all so different from what she remembered that she barely recognized it.

 

A lone figure stood at the other side of the lake, separated by what felt like an ocean of water between them. She was facing the opposite direction, looking towards something in the distance.

 

But Yoshina could recognize Inazuma's spiritual manifestation just fine. There was no mistaking the cobalt blue hair whirling around in the wind. It reached way past Inazuma's waist like a straight cascade of azure water.

 

Almost as if feeling Yoshina's gaze on her, she turned around. Her vibrant eyes, also the same unusual shade as her hair, met Yoshina's across the distance.

 

Though the wind should have carried the sound away, her zanpakuto's voice was loud and clear. "Did you get lost along the way?"

 

Yoshina tried to ignore the bite in the words. She wasn't here to fight. She wanted Inazuma's cooperation, so she vowed to herself that no matter how much her patience was pushed, she would not let it get to her. "How do I cross the water?"

 

With a cryptic smile, Inazuma sat down at the foot of the dying tree. "How indeed?"

 

Yoshina sighed. Clearly Inazuma was not going to be of any help. She was on her own. She gauged the water level once more. One tentative step at a time, praying to Gods that didn't exist, she took a step forward. Defying all logic, she didn't sink into the water.

 

With trepidation, as Inazuma watched on wordlessly, Yoshina kept walking. She wasn't going to ask how or why.

 

She was right in the middle of lake, exactly halfway from each shore, when Inazuma spoke up. "So you think you can walk on water, do you?"

 

Yoshina's eyes widened. It was a ruse. The sense of comfort and safety was nothing but a ruse to entrap her right where her Zanpakuto wanted her. Without a warning, what had felt as solid as ground beneath her, sucked her into the deep murky water.

 

She sputtered. The water that had been calm before was now as turbulent as a rough stormy sea. She couldn't see her own two feet, let alone how far it was to the shore. She could swim but she couldn't get her bearings. She didn't know which direction to swim to.  _How deep was it anyway?_

 

"If you struggle, you'll drown," Inazuma's voice reached her. Yoshina was struggling for her life, and her Zanpakuto seemed bored.

 

But then the words sank in.  _If you struggle, you'll drown._  In that split second of realization, Yoshina understood something. Up until the moment Inazuma had made her doubt the possibility of her walking on water, everything had been fine. Yet the moment the doubt raised its head, she had sunk in.

 

She took a breath to calm herself. This was her own inner world. She couldn't die. Not here. She took another breath, shutting out the roar of the water. She could swim, so why was she struggling? And what did it matter if she couldn't see which way she was to go? She had been in the middle so either way, the shore was the same distance away. So Yoshina simply ignored everything else, and swam.

 

Her arms ached with each stroke. It was not easy to swim in rough water but with each sure stroke it seemed as if the turbulence was lessening. She lost sense of time. Maybe in her determination and agitated state, seconds felt like hours but she found her feet touching solid ground of the shore. Finally.

 

Inazuma sat right where she had been all this time – comfortably, without a care in the world.

 

"Are you happy now?" Yoshina asked, angrily. She was drenched and she was annoyed. Her intentions had been pure but all her Zanpakuto wanted was to play games. "I could have died!"

 

Inazuma raised a brow at her, but said nothing at all. They both knew it wasn't really possible.

 

"You are always like this!" Yoshina cried out. "You shut me out of my own inner world for a century. And when I finally get around to coming here, you try to kill me. Why do you hate me so much?" Yoshina asked, unable to take it anymore. She didn't know if all Zanpakutos were this... _difficult._ Yoshina, in general, despised conflict. If Yoruichi and Kisuke got into some squabble, despite how trivial, and despite the fact that it had nothing to do with her, she would feel the anxiety of it. It affected her, even when it shouldn't. And now this unending conflict with Inazuma, who was inadvertently a part of her own soul, was just unbearable. She didn't know how to deal with it.

 

"I don't hate you," Inazuma replied. She stood up. "Everything gets to you. Everything distracts you. And you doubt everything," she said shaking her head, as if she couldn't believe how naïve and undisciplined Yoshina was. "You always let everything through your heart. That's your problem. Don't you ever listen to your gut? Your instincts?"

 

Inazuma's cryptic words made no sense to her. She was talking about one thing and her Zanpakuto was talking about something else entirely. How in the world were they to get along and fight as one if they could not even figure out how to communicate with each other?

 

The future seemed bleak indeed.

* * *

 

The brush glided over the parchment in strokes but Byakuya hated the look of the ink on the paper. It looked hurried, and harsh, despite how calmly he applied himself. His calligraphy was more than just a hobby. His grandfather had forced him into it when he had been a temperamental young child. It was supposed to calm him down and teach him that patience was a virtue. And it had.

 

Not today though.

 

His eyes lifted off the paper before him to look at the garden outside. Right by the koi pond was the cause of his distraction. The hindrance to his peace.

 

Of course he had noticed her the moment he had stepped into the Kuchiki mansion. Her reiatsu was unmistakable. To him at least. Decades he had spent searching for the unique pattern of her vibrant energy simply to know if she was still alive. He knew that reiatsu almost as well as he knew his own.

 

It was a funny sight. She was meditating. At least that was what it was supposed to be. But there was no sign of calmness or serenity. Her brows were furrowed, her hands tense on her knees and her back was unnaturally straight as she sat in the usual meditative position. Never could he have imagined her so. She had been worse than him, always sprinting about, always up to no good, usually at his expense. He could remember when...

 

Abruptly, he broke off the thought. Enough was enough. Her presence alone was distracting. He didn't have to add his memories and remembrance to the list of things that created chaos in his life.

 

He stood up and with a resigned sigh, he approached her almost still figure. "What are you doing here?" he asked evenly. If she was this agitated, she couldn't be in a deep state of meditation. So she should hear him fine. Except she didn't seem to.

 

He laid a hand on her shoulder and knelt down before her. He didn't want to startle her. By any chance if she was in deeper within herself, jarring her awake could harm her somehow. "Yoshina?" he called out softly.

* * *

 

"If you don't hate me, can we please have a civilized conversation?" Yoshina asked.

 

Inazuma seemed amenable to that. She didn't smile or show her agreement in anyway but Inazuma never smiled. She was so impassive she could have given Byakuya – no, Captain Kuchiki a run for his money. But she didn't disagree either. Nor had she scowled at her or scoffed at her. That alone was a good sign.

 

Then all of a sudden, Inazuma whirled around to face away from Yoshina. "You again!" she practically growled.

 

There stood a samurai, complete with the mask and armor. A character right out of a traditional tapestry, from history itself.  _Well, this is new,_  Yoshina thought in confusion.

 

"It's been a while, Inazuma," the intruder said calmly and evenly.

 

Inazuma took a threatening step towards him. "Get out of my world, you masked asshole."

 

"You think I  _want_  to be here?" he replied in a yell, all sense of decorum and calm quickly evaporating. "Tell your mistress to open her eyes. My master demands her attention."

 

Yoshina was taken back. So this was another Zanpakuto spirit. "Your master?" she inquired.

 

Dragging his eyes away from the raging Zanpakuto, he focused his complete attention on Yoshina. "I'm Senbonzakura," he introduced himself with a slight bow of his head. "The esteemed Zanpakuto of..."

 

"Nobody cares," Inazuma interrupted. "Get out."

 

But the name was too familiar to ignore. "Byakuya!" Yoshina gasped in surprise. The masked samurai warrior before her was the manifestation of Byakuya's Zanpakuto spirit. It was surreal.

 

"I must kindly ask you to refrain from addressing him in such a familiar way," Senbonzakura said, slightly disgruntled. "It's improper."

 

Yoshina couldn't say anything. The likeness to Byakuya was uncanny. The remark about propriety almost made her laugh at how accurately Byakuya-like it was.

 

Inazuma rolled her eyes. "I must kindly ask you to get the hell out of my world before I fry you in your little metal suit," she mimicked him mockingly. But the threat hung heavily between them.

 

"Do not test me," he replied. Senbonzakura's hand was on the hilt of his sword.

 

"Or what?" she asked. The sky grumbled, greying gloomingly, warning of the looming storm.

 

"You don't want to find out."

 

"Oh, I think I do."

 

Lightning flashed, closer than it should be, lighting up the sky.

 

"Please stop," Yoshina groaned. "You're giving me a headache."

 

Senbonzakura let his hands fall to his sides. "You  _have_  to wake up," he told her insistently. Then just as abruptly as he had arrived, he was gone.

 

So she broke out of her inner world and woke up.

* * *

 

Yoshina opened her eyes to stare into a deep grey ocean. For a split second, she wondered if she was still in her inner world, gazing up at Inazuma's stormy sky. But then they moved, widening, and Yoshina realized that she was in fact staring into eyes. Very familiar, very surprised eyes. Eyes that were closer than they should be.

 

"What are you doing here?" Byakuya asked, straightening up.

 

Confused and disoriented, Yoshina stumbled to her feet as well. She ignored his very legitimate question to forward one of her own. "Can Zanpakuto spirits travel in between each other's worlds?"

 

"I do not know," he answered her honestly. "I haven't had any such experiences. Why do you ask?"

 

 _Wow,_ Yoshina thought in amazement.  _We are actually having a polite conversation. Am I dreaming?_

 

"Oh, no reason," she replied automatically.

 

"Clearly there is a reason. You would not have asked otherwise." He waited expectantly for her to give him an explanation. It never came. "It is of no consequence," he said dismissing the conversation. "Why are you in my house? Again?"

 

"You know this is my favorite place to think," she said, smiling up at him prettily.

 

Mentally, he yearned for patience. "This is my private garden."

 

"Fine," she conceded, rolling her eyes at him. "I'll move to the other side. This garden is big enough for the both of us."

 

That was not at all what he had meant but he knew that she had chosen to deliberately misunderstand. Before he could clarify, she was gone in an instant, flash stepping away to some other discreet corner. He could sense her reiatsu on the other side of the koi pond.

 

He could follow her and insist that she left. Instead, he turned back to his study and focused on his brush strokes.

 

Focus was a loose term however. For some reason, the ink didn't glide as smoothly as he wanted them to. For some reason, the strokes remained crooked, and jarringly uneven. For some reason, his mind was by the godforsaken koi pond.

 

He could sense her frustration over the distance. But he could also sense her power emanating unsteadily, increasing in spikes, and going down in an unstable rhythm. Clearly, she was in a battle with herself. Something he knew to be quite familiar with himself.

 

He thought of her question earlier. She was curious by nature but her query had been far too focused and specific.  _Could zanpakutos interact in each other's inner worlds?_ He wondered.

 

" _I apologize for my actions, master,"_ Senbonzakura said solemnly, guilt lying heavy in his words.

 

Byakuya closed his eyes in resignation.  _What did you do?_

 

" _When you touched Lady Shihoin, for a moment I was in Inazuma's inner world,"_ his Zanpakuto confessed.

 

 _Inazuma,_ Byakuya repeated the name, letting it roll around in his head searching for the appropriate meaning assigned to it.  _Lightning dance._

 

" _Yes, master. Inazuma, the most insufferable, arrogant and disrespectful Zanpakuto in the entire world. Possibly just like her mistress,"_ Senbonzakura grumbled angrily.

 

 _Careful,_ Byakuya warned.  _Your words should be spoken more mindfully._ He didn't even realize that he was chastising his Zanpakuto for insulting Yoshina of all people.

 

" _I apologize, master,"_ Senbonzakura said, instantly contrite. He remained silent as not to irritate Byakuya further with his mindless utterings.

 

 _What was it like?_ Byakuya regretted the inquiry the moment it was asked but he didn't retract the question.

 

" _I don't understand, master. What was what like?"_

 

Byakuya sighed.  _What was her inner world like?_

 

Senbonzakura was silent for a moment, conjuring up the image with clarity from memory.  _"Barren. Empty. Dry and scorching,"_ he replied in a matter of fact manner.  _"There was a storm brewing but it was always far away. So the world remained eternally a desert."_

 

Byakuya thought of his own inner world. Senbonzakura resided in a world with an eternal moonlit night and an ever blooming sakura tree that spread over the vibrant lake in the center. The breeze was always gentle, and the water was always calm. It was tranquility personified.

 

In contrast, Yoshina's was a barren desert. Byakuya couldn't help but feel conflicted about that.

 

If he had allowed himself to accept and feel his own emotions, he would have realized that what he was feeling was sadness.

 

Sadness on behalf of her.

 

His Zanpakuto understood though.  _"I see,"_ Senbonzakura murmured to himself with a smile. It's been a while since his master had allowed himself to feel anything at all.

* * *

 

When Yoshina woke up once more in her inner world, she was on the same bank as she had been before Senbonzakura had waltzed in.

 

"Oh. You're back," Inazuma said with an insufferable sigh.

 

But Yoshina paid no mind to that. She had a far more important question to ask. "It that a common occurrence? Zanpakutos interacting in each other's worlds?"

 

"How should I know?"

 

"You said 'you again' to Senbonzakura. Don't deny it. I heard it. He's been here before."

 

A growl rumbled low in Inazuma's throat. "He's an insufferable pest," she declared ruthlessly.

 

"Well, is it normal?" Yoshina asked, insisting on an answer.

 

"Again, how should  _I_ know?"

 

"Ugh!" Yoshina grumbled, frustrated. "Do you know who else is an insufferable pest? You!"

 

She instinctively took a step back as Inazuma withdrew a sword identical to the one sheathed at Yoshina's waist. "Are we going to trade insults all day or are we going to do anything productive now that you finally, centuries later, found your way back here?" the Zanpakuto asked, wiping imaginary stains off the blade.

 

Yoshina sighed. It was true. They were focusing on the wrong things. She was here for a specific reason after all. "Will you teach me how to perform the second stance of my Shikai?"

 

Inazuma looked at her as if she had just made the most insane request ever imaginable. "Second stance? You haven't even mastered the first," she scoffed.

 

"Well, will you teach me so I can finally access your powers completely?"

 

A moment passed in silence. Inazuma was lost in a reverie that made her shake her head as if to shake the memory off as well. "No," she replied resolutely, meeting Yoshina's eyes.

 

"You just said we were going to train!" Yoshina exclaimed, in disbelief.

 

"I changed my mind," Inazuma said, turning away, leaving no room for further discussion of the matter.

* * *

 

Yoshina opened her eyes, once more back in the garden of the Kuchiki mansion. The koi swam about peacefully in the pond. The breeze gently nudged the leaves to rustle in a soft canopy above her. But Yoshina felt no peace. She had just been effectively dismissed from her own inner world as if she had absolutely no say in the matter. Clearly, she didn't.

 

She looked up at the sky to realize that night had fallen quite abruptly while she had been focused on her own inner turmoil. She stood up, dusting stray leaves off her uniform. It was time she got back to her barracks anyway.

 

On the bridge she was to cross to leave the garden stood Byakuya. His face was composed, and his gaze was intently focused on the koi below that gobbled up the bread crumbs he rhythmically scattered about.

 

"You're still here," he said, not bothering to look up from the pond. The predictable movements of the fish beneath him was far preferable to the unpredictable woman next to him.

 

Of course, he had known she was still here. He had been sensing for her reiatsu all evening anyway. Yet, he feigned surprise that was tinged with displeasure at finding her still in the confines of his personal garden.

 

"I'm just leaving," she told him. Something about her seemed a bit... _off_  to him.

 

The words left his mouth before he had any control of it. "What's wrong?" he found himself asking, genuinely perturbed.

 

Startled by his question, and the concern underlying his words, she looked up to meet his eyes. He wanted to look away but he didn't. He met her gaze evenly. Now that he had asked, he truly wanted to know.

 

"My Zanpakuto is a cold hearted bitch," she informed him wryly.

 

Senbonzakura laughed inside, seeming as if to say,  _I told you so._ Byakuya deliberately ignored him.

 

"I see," he said for the lack of anything else to say. This was not familiar territory to him. His Zanpakuto was quite well-behaved.

 

Yoshina shook her head with a self-depreciating smile, effectively breaking the moment between them. "You don't have to pretend to care, Byakuya." Then realizing her error, she corrected herself. "I mean  _Captain Kuchiki._ I'll stay out of your way," she said.

 

She flash stepped away, right out of his mansion. Soon enough, she was beyond the boundaries of his property and Byakuya found himself still staring at the spot upon which she had stood but moments before.

 

He was so angry and he could not understand why. He was so off center. He didn't even know why he felt what he felt anymore.

 

_Captain Kuchiki._

 

Finally, she was learning her place. Finally, she was addressing him with the respect he was due, casting aside this unwarranted sense of familiarity that he did  _not_ need from her.

 

She was giving him exactly what he wanted from her. Distance.

 

Then why was he so  _so_ angry?


	8. World of the Living

**The Red Tie That Binds**

by Sands

_Chapter 8 - World of the Living_

* * *

The next morning, Yoshina received two hell butterflies. One was from the Shihoin clan expressing their unabashed happiness to know that Yoshina was finally back fulfilling her duties to uphold the clan's name. Yoshina dismissed the message without a second thought. A clan that had scorned them a hundred years ago was of no consequence to her now.

 

The other was from Captain Ukitake, so she answered the summons immediately. She was informed that she, along with Rukia Kuchiki, would be sent to the World of the Living on a mission. They would be accompanied by Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto of Squad 10, as well as Third seat Ikkaku Madarame and Fifth Seat Yumichika Ayesagawa of Squad 11, and Lieutenant Renji Abarai of Squad 6. Their objective was to counter the Arrancar threat in Karakura Town.

 

Yoshina had been a bit surprised by her being part of the mission, considering she was a fairly new recruit as of yet, but it also made perfect sense. After all, she had the most experience with all things related to the World of the Living considering she had spent a century there blending in with the humans. Her skill in kido would definitely come in handy if they got into any serious altercations that would require medical assistance.

 

"I have complete faith in you," Captain Ukitake had told her right before they had departed through the senkaimon. The words bolstered her feeling that she did in fact have a part to play – something to offer for the mission's success.

* * *

 

Staying at Urahara's was the most obvious choice. Yoruichi wasn't around, clearly being on one of her own solo escapades, but Kisuke welcomed her with a hug that threatened to crush her ribs.

 

"You can let go now, Kisuke," she managed to choke out, struggling in his embrace.

 

He pulled back. Though his hat, as always, shrouded half of his face easily, she saw traces of a sheepish smile. "You went on a mission and never came back," he said lightly as an explanation but Yoshina could read the underlying hurt just fine. She instantly felt contrite for not even saying a proper goodbye.

 

Abruptly, she grabbed him into another hug. "I missed you too."

 

"Yoshi's back," Ururu declared to the back of the shop.

 

Jinta walked out. "And she brought the moocher with her," he said, narrowing his eyes at Renji, who flushed to match his red hair, making Yoshina laugh.

 

Tessai offered a smile. "Welcome back, Lady Shihoin." Yoshina had tried to break him out of the habit of calling her that but it hadn't worked so now she simply flowed with it.

 

"It's good to be back, Tessai," she replied smiling.

 

And that was the truth. No matter where she went and who she was with, this felt like home. Not Urahara's Shop per say but them. Ururu, Jinta, Tessai, her sister wherever she was at the moment, and Kisuke were what  _home_ meant to her.

 

When Renji settled in, disgruntled by the thinly veiled insults thrown his way, Kisuke casually dragged her aside. Finally when they were out of hearing range of everyone else, he spoke. "I just wanted to give you a heads up, Yoshi. They are back."

 

"Who?" Yoshina asked, genuinely confused, not comprehending at first.

 

Kisuke gave her a knowing look. "The Visored."

 

If her heart rate picked up, it couldn't be helped. If Kisuke noticed, that couldn't be helped either. It was unavoidable. It has been  _years_. A decade almost. She took a breath to calm her nerves. "This was bound to happen wasn't it? With Ichigo I mean."

 

"Yes it was," Kisuke agreed. "Are you going to be okay?"

 

She nodded. "You know me. I'm always alright," she said with an easy smile. But Kisuke noticed how it didn't reach her eyes.

 

* * *

 

The Arrancars.

 

The Visored.

 

More complications.

 

The closer she got to her comrades from soul society, harder it became for her to keep things from them. But she had to. It was easier that way.

 

They were a close knit bunch. Renji obviously shared a bond with his former squad members from the eleventh. Rangiku was clearly close to all of them and Yoshina was certain that sake had played a major role in that. Even Captain Hitsugaya, though seeming to be always persistently annoyed with the lot of them, seemed to share a deeper camaraderie with them. Yoshina hadn't expected anything from them considering how close they already were. She had expected to feel like an intruder. But it hadn't quite turned out that way. They had welcomed her into the fold, treating her like they'd known her for years too.

 

Yoshina had dropped by Urahara's to check up on Renji and Sado's training in the underground training facility. The place held a lot of memories for her considering how often she had gotten her ass kicked into the ground by either Kisuke or Yoruichi during training back in the day.

 

She settled down next to Renji on a boulder. He however didn't even seem to notice. His eyes were fixated on something far off in the distance.

 

Yoshina couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped. "Careful, Renji. You pining is showing."

 

Startled, Renji sat up straight. "I don't know what you're implying," he said but noticing Yoshina's knowing look he gave up all pretense. "How obvious is it?" he asked with a resigned sigh.

 

"Not obvious at all. Unless you know how to look."

 

Rukia and Orihime were back in Soul Society, training for the upcoming battles possibly. Renji clearly missed her. It was too evident to ignore.

 

"You should know, huh?" Renji said dejectedly. "We should just start a club. It can be called  _Pining for the Kuchikis._ "

 

Yoshina gasped indignantly. "I don't pine for Byakuya. I mean Captain Kuchiki." She instantly corrected herself. She kept making the same mistake, talking of him as if she knew him. She had to remind herself that she didn't. He wasn't Byakuya. Not  _her_  Byakuya. Not anymore.

 

It was Renji's turn to reciprocate the knowing look. "We are a lot similar that way. In love with their best friends, wasted decades apart. And it just happens that they are both Kuchikis," he said with a sigh.

 

She wanted to protest. She was  _not_ in love with Byakuya. But she was loathe to interrupt Renji. She hadn't known him long but she doubted he let anyone else see this side of him. And he was on a roll. She didn't want to stop him. Clearly he needed to get these things out and she was just the one to listen.

 

"Do you think there's something between them?" Renji asked suddenly.

 

"Between whom?"

 

"Rukia and Ichigo." There was a darkness in his eyes as he continued. "It would serve me right. I wasn't there for her when I should have been. When she needed me the most..."

 

"Renji...they're just friends," Yoshina assured him. "Besides, relationships are complicated. Especially when we are weighed down by our responsibilities. Duty and heart don't always go hand in hand and to choose one over the other is nearly impossible."

 

He looked at her for a moment, letting the words sink in. "Are we talking about me and Rukia or you and Captain Kuchiki?"

 

Yoshina simply rolled her eyes at him and glanced away.

 

When they resumed their training Yoshina traced her way back to the rest of the team. They had found a quiet place to meditate and train. She had just waved at Rangiku when the arrival of strong spiritual pressure effectively halted any possible conversation. She glanced about, instinctively drawing her sword.

 

"Arrancars!" she declared alerting the others but they were already unsheathing their own swords in preparation of the battle ahead.

 

There were five arrancars appearing through the garganta. The one with striking blue hair disappeared instantly as the other four descended upon them. The larger one, spouting off about being the 10th Espada, battled against Captain Hitsugaya. Ikkaku and Yumichika faced off against an arrogant Espada by the name of Lupi. Rangiku stared at her opponent who seemed to be utterly dimwitted and far more engaged in observing birds flying about in the sky than actually engaging in combat. That left the fifth intruder all to Yoshina.

 

She stared at the arrancar. Just like his comrades, he too was dressed in their robe-like white uniform. His residual hollow mask wrapped around half his face, extending from his left jaw, resembling almost the skull of a dragon. Something about that tickled her memory.

 

"I am Fierro Endocruz. It looks like you're my opponent," he said evenly, seeming quite disinterested in it all.

 

The name was unfamiliar but the reiatsu emanating off of him was unmistakable.

 

Yoshina felt like she couldn't breathe. It had nothing to do with the strength of the spiritual pressure and everything to do with just how familiar it felt.  _It couldn't be_ , she thought to herself but the possibility of it loomed over her.

 

She didn't know  _how_  it had happened or  _why_  it happened, but the hollow that had plagued her nightmares was now an arrancar. And he stood right before her eyes.


	9. Wavering Will

**The Red Tie That Binds**

by Sands

_Chapter 9 – Wavering Will_

* * *

 

Destiny was cruel and fate was undoubtedly faithless.

 

There were no coincidences. There couldn't be. Everything happened for a reason.

 

Staring into the eyes of Fierro Endocruz, Yoshina's sword wavered. Maybe she was in shock. Maybe she was still unable to comprehend the sequence of events that had led up to this point. Maybe her sword remembered the fear and trepidation she herself felt. She remembered it far too clearly.

 

But there was no recognition in his eyes. Simply disgust. "Your wavering sword cannot even cut me let alone kill me."

 

Yoshina knew it was true. Too paralyzed by memories of the past, she couldn't even move, let alone raise her sword to cut the arrancar before her.

 

 _How_? _Why? Why now?_

 

Only questions reverberated in her skull, distracting from the matter at hand.

 

All these questions had only but one answer.  _Aizen._

 

She didn't know how but Aizen knew and he had exploited it beautifully. It could have been simply a coincidence that on her very first mission, she encounters an arrancar-fied version of her past nightmare but somehow she doubted it. Aizen had known she would be here. Aizen must have counted on it. And on the whim of his carefully deliberated plan, she stood facing something she had run from for decades.

 

But this was neither the time nor place for questions and doubt. A battle was upon her, and she was to fight. It didn't matter whether she wanted to or not.

 

The arrancar, oblivious to Yoshina's confusion and turmoil, attacked head on. Blade struck blade with a clang. The sound resonated in Yoshina's head. It was pure instinctive reaction that made her counter the arrancar's attack.

 

Clash. Slice. Clash once more.

 

He was fast. She could be faster. She flash stepped away from his range. All her fellow soul reapers were engaged in a fierce battle themselves. They could not help her now. She had to hold her own. They were counting on her.

 

"Quit dancing around and fight me," Fierro snarled.

 

Then he was upon her, in a swift move that she was too slow to react to. His blade didn't cut her but the flame-like energy pulsating across the distance between them burned her shoulder. Her quick reflexes had made her move aside.

 

The blade in her hands lit up without being called upon. Even feeling confused about the zanpakuto's own will, Yoshina realized what was being communicated to her without words. She was to call upon her power. She knew she had to. If she had any hope of surviving this battle, she had to fight because the arrancar seemed to have no doubt or qualms about this ending in death. Hers.

 

Fierro was done playing around. His attacks were getting more insistent. Faster. He was using his own arrancar abilities to gain momentum in the battle. She had to counter and Inazuma was ready.

 

"Illuminate, Inazuma."

 

The blade split in her hands to become two, sparking lightning across each other and the air around them.

 

For a moment, Fierro stared at the new development. She wondered if he was finally remembering something from his hollow past. But then a look of sheer glee and satisfaction took over his face.

 

"Finally," he exclaimed, sending a bolt of fire her way.

 

She lifted up her blade, directing it to meet the attack head on. Lightning met fire, cancelling each other out midway.

 

His power was strangely familiar. The fire seemed to be an accelerated kinetic energy that he absorbed from his surroundings that he could direct at will. The energy was pulsated to such a degree that it became fire along the way. Quite similar to how Inazuma worked.

 

Fierro seemed to have come to the exact same conclusion. "How curious..." he said, looking at her as if she was some strange occurrence. Then his face transformed to one of sheer determination. "Doesn't matter. I'm not here to test my skill against yours. I'm here to kill you, soul reaper!"

 

He rushed at her. In the speed of things, distracted with her own thoughts, she couldn't tell if it was his fire or his sword that was coming at her. So she crossed the blades in front of her in a defensive position. The stance was meant to protect her, though she had no idea if it would. The clash of energy made her close her eyes.

 

When she opened them, Fierro had been pushed back. His eyes sparked with fury. His face had a fresh red burn. Yoshina didn't know how but it was evident that she had caused it.

 

With a renewed ferociousness, Fierro came at her once more. He seemed more determined than ever for some reason.

 

"You think you're better than me?" he screamed at her. His sword, now engulfed in red hot fire, clashed against her blades. "Fight me, you bitch!"

 

But Yoshina couldn't. She  _couldn't_  fight him.

 

This seemed to anger him even further. Her continuous defensive position and lack of any offensive action enraged him.  _Did this stupid soul reaper think she was better than him?_

 

In his rage, he slipped up. He attacked and her blade countered easily, blocking the attack. But he had forgotten about the fact that she wielded dual swords. His movement, the angle of it, left him wide open for her other blade to deal a felling blow straight to his neck.

 

His eyes widened.

 

He was not supposed to die this way. He was an arrancar. Lord Aizen had made him such to fulfill his will. That was his purpose. He could not die leaving that unfulfilled.

 

But the blow that would kill him never came.

 

Instead, he was pushed back by a red streak of power that came from an entirely different direction. He looked down at himself to see he'd been cut. The red light had pierced his hierro, leaving a gaping gash on his abdomen.

 

He looked in the direction from which the attack had come. A man in a green cloak stood with his sword directed at him. His hat shrouded his face but Fierro recognized the new arrival easily.

 

"Urahara," he breathed. He had been warned about the former Captain of Squad 12. Yammy had not fared well against him. He did the only thing he could do in the moment. Despite his instincts screaming at him to fight back, Fierro retreated. To survive meant to fight another day. He looked at Yoshina and his gaze gleamed with hate, promising a battle to the death. Then he was gone.

 

Yoshina stared at Kisuke in what could only be described as shock. He had effectively interrupted her battle to injure her opponent. A direct violation of the rules of engagement.

 

He gave her a fleeting glance before returning to his battle against the remaining espada. The look had conveyed more and Yoshina shrunk into herself. To one who didn't know him, the look would have been just a look. But Yoshina knew him too well. His disappointment was perfectly evident and it felt crushing. Yoshina couldn't refute or defend. He had taught her better.

 

 _You do not aim to maim. You aim to kill. Your emotions, your feelings have no place in battle. You fight to win or you die._  His words reverberated in her mind.

 

She had failed him. She had failed herself.

* * *

 

The battle reached its conclusion when the Espada retreated through the garganta. The soul reapers had not faired too greatly but they were alive. That was something at least.

 

In the aftermath, Kisuke approached her. Her eyes remained intently focused on the ground beneath her. Even when his clogs appeared before her vision, she didn't look up.

 

"Yoshi," he called to her.

 

"Yes."

 

When she didn't rise to meet his gaze, he laid a hand on her shoulder and spoke to her hair instead. "What the hell were you thinking?"

 

"I don't know," she said, carefully avoiding revealing too much.

 

Kisuke didn't know the past that haunted her. No one did. Not even Yoruichi. Yoshina wanted to keep it that way.

 

He sighed. "I understand that this is your first battle as a soul reaper. But fear has no place in combat." He lifted her face with his palm, forcing her to meet his gaze. "I taught you better, Yoshi."

 

Her vision got blurry as she looked at him. "Yes, you did."

 

The gathering wetness alarmed Kisuke a bit. She was shaken more than she let on, he realized. He changed tact. Instead of rebuking her further, he offered a smile. He squeezed her shoulder in an effort to let her know that he wasn't mad at her. Then with a ruffle of her hair, he left to check up on the others.

 

When Rangiku made her way to her, Yoshina was sitting on the ground aimlessly staring at something in the distance. Her hair was rumpled and her shoulder was burnt. But Yoshina was healing herself with Kido even though it seemed her mind was elsewhere.

 

"You look like you need a drink," Rangiku said with a grin.

 

In all the seriousness that surrounded them, her remark was so outrageous that it dragged a reluctant laugh out of Yoshina.

 

"I think we all do," she replied with a smile. She would need a whole bottle to drown out all she was feeling.


	10. Drown Your Sorrows

**The Red Tie That Binds**

**by Sands**

_Chapter 10 - Drown Your Sorrows_

* * *

"This is not a good idea," Toshiro declared, pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes were closed. It looked like the young captain was praying for patience.

 

Sitting on the window ledge of Orihime's living room, he observed the fellow soul reapers get ready for a night out in the town. Orihime Inoue had not yet returned from Soul Society. So everyone had gathered there before they headed out.

 

Rangiku halted in the middle of retouching her lipstick. "Oh, Captain! You won't be allowed inside anyway." Then she proceeded to giggle at her own jibe. He suspected that she had imbibed in some sake already.

 

"Rangiku!" Yoshina squeaked and looked at Captain Hitsugaya worriedly.

 

He, however seemed quite disinterested and unaffected. It seemed he was perfectly used to these sort of comments from his lieutenant.

 

"Either way, I'm not interested," he said sounding just that. "Don't call me to come collect you when you are completely uselessly drunk." Then he opened the window and disappeared off on to the roof, possibly seeking solace from the mayhem below.

 

Rangiku turned around to face the gang. Dressed in a short red dress with a plunging neckline, her assets were well accentuated. She had gone shopping but Yoshina suspected it was more likely that poor Orihime's closet had been raided. Even she had been stuffed into a sleek black dress. She didn't have much to show off anyway, as petite and slight of build as she was, but even her curves were well displayed in the body hugging dress. If Ikkaku's eyes lingered on her ass, she pointedly pretended not to notice.

 

"Well who wants to get uselessly drunk?" Rangiku asked cheerfully.

 

"That's exactly the opposite of what Captain Hitsugaya said," Renji reminded rolling his eyes but a grin lurked around his lips nonetheless.

 

But there was no dissuading Rangiku. She had made up her mind that the only way to go was to drink themselves into oblivion. After all, alcohol tasted better than tears.

* * *

 

Yoshina was not sure how exactly they ended up here but here they were in a dimly lit bar very well into their cups. And bottles. They had not limited themselves to just sake this time. Beer bottles – empty, of course – were haphazardly rolling about on the table they sat around.

 

She collected most of them and carried them towards the bartended who thankfully unloaded the burden from her. She was drunk too. Well tipsy would be the right term. The others though. She didn't know whether to laugh at them or worry about them.

 

On her way back to her seat, she passed Rangiku, who was staring into her glass of clear liquid, draped all over the table. Yoshina thought that might be uncomfortable considering how things were being...well squished. "Why Gin? Why?" she heard the voluptuous woman mumble woefully into the cups.

 

Slightly confused, her brain sluggish that usual, she sat next to Renji, facing Ikkaku.

 

Yumichika's dazed eyes focused on her movement as she sat down. Sucking on a lemon, or maybe a chunk of pineapple off of his pina colada, he looked miserable too. "There's no one beautiful enough," he said and Ikakku smiled widely shaking his head at his friend's words. "I will die alone. I will die beautifully but I will die alone." Then he slumped beautifully on to the table, like a wilted flower.

 

Ikkaku laughed openly now, the sound slightly infectious.

 

"Is he okay?" Yoshina asked, slightly concerned. She wasn't aware of how much alcohol was exactly too much alcohol for soul reapers.

 

They could both hear the sucking noise coming off of Yumichika and his chunk of pineapple. Clearly he was still conscious.

 

"He'll be alright," Ikkaku declared, sipping from his beer.

 

"What's going on? What did I miss?" Yoshina asked pointedly looking at dejected Rangiku.

 

Renji thought it was the right moment to grab Yoshina by the shoulders and stare drunkenly into her eyes. "She doesn't see me the way I see her? She doesn't!" he said asking the question and answering it himself. Yoshina could only stare dumbfounded. "I have loved her as long as I have lived," he continued. She could hear Ikkaku laughing once more. "Why am I so pathetic?"

 

Renji's face scrunched up, and he sniffed. Yoshina wanted to laugh too but she held herself back. Who knew alcohol was capable of reducing these strong people into what was basically mush? If Renji remembered any of it, he would be appalled by his own behavior.

 

Yoshina patted him and gently untangled herself from his embrace. "It's going to be okay, Renji," she told him and helped him lay his head down on the table.

 

"Yes, okay," he said, settling his head on the makeshift pillow made by his folded arms. "I'll sleep now."

 

Yoshina looked at Ikkaku, the only other seemingly sober one in the group, for an explanation.

 

"What a bunch of lightweights," he declared, taking another swig of his drink.

 

Yoshina looked about. That could be said about Renji and Yumichika, considering they'd both drunk almost the same as Ikkaku and her. But given the evidence of empty glasses and bottles in front of Rangiku, it was clear she had drunk far,  _far_ more than the rest of them. She was running away from something, Yoshina realized and it had to do something with Gin. Yoshina knew the story behind it. Rangiku hadn't told her herself but some things didn't stay hidden in soul society. The defected former captain and Rangiku had history and his betrayal was hitting her hard. Yoshina ached for her new friend but there was nothing she could do right now.

 

"I was gone for maybe less than two minutes. What happened here?" she asked.

 

"Well, Renji started talking nonsense about some woman," Ikkaku said. "Guessing from what he said just now, he's clearly talking about Rukia Kuchiki." Then he laughed shaking his head. "He's going to regret his drunken confession later." It was a promise of snarky comments and teasing to come.

 

"And?"

 

"And well the rest followed suit. Everyone was drunk enough and soon talking about the woes of love," he finished with a chuckle.

 

Yoshina took a sip of her own drink. "What about you, Madarame? Any woeful romantic drama in your life?" she asked wriggling her eyebrows at him playfully.

 

Ikkaku grinned at her, showing what was possibly all his teeth. "You wouldn't believe if I told you."

 

"Try me," Yoshina urged, grinning back.

 

"Nemu Kurotsuchi." He let the name hang there for a while, grinning at her reaction.

 

If Yoshina sputtered a bit on her drink, it was warranted. "Captain Kurotsuchi's lieutenant?" she asked just to be sure.

 

He nodded in the affirmation. "Heck, I don't think romance even comes into it. I see her and every part of me comes alive with a vengeance." Then he looked at pointedly and added, " _Every_ part."

 

"Ikkaku!" she squeaked, laughing herself. "I didn't need to know  _that_!"

 

"You asked." Then he looked at the miserable lot around him. "We should probably take this bunch home."

 

Yoshina nodded in agreement. It was getting late. Or early, depending on how one wanted to look at it. She settled the tab and took hold of Rangiku. It wasn't easy considering how much taller she was than Yoshina but she managed somehow. Ikkaku supported Renji and Yumichika on either side, and they walked home.

 

They talked along the way but Yoshina doubted either would remember much. It was just meaningless conversation to ensure the other didn't fall asleep or something. They were just focused on finding a place to crash.

* * *

 

The hangover was torturous.

 

She felt a weight on her body, keeping her from getting up and in that moment she hated whatever it was that was anchoring her. She needed to use the bathroom and she needed to use it immediately. She pushed it off of her but to no avail.

 

Opening her eyes, she squinted at the weight. It was an arm. She looked along the arm to find the person it was attached to. Ikkaku was cuddling her like she was his own cuddly pillow.

 

Alarm bells rang in her brain. She quickly glanced at herself and him. Relief came swiftly upon realizing that they were both very clothed and had only fallen asleep on the floor next to each other.

 

Then she laughed a bit. Ikkaku Madarame, the strong mean warrior of Squad 11, who had no romantic notions, was a freaking cuddler. The irony did not escape her.

 

She carefully lifted the arm off to wriggle out of the embrace and went to relieve herself.

 

Upon her return, she noticed Captain Hitsugaya standing over the awakening soul reapers with a look of utter annoyance on his face.

 

The news he imparted opened their eyes and sobered them up faster than anything else could have.

 

Inoue was gone.

 

They quickly freshened up to be presentable for the video communication with the Head Captain. If Yoshina squinted a little bit at the screen, it couldn't be avoided.

 

It was unfathomable that they were to do absolutely nothing to help Orihime Inoue. She could see Ichigo's rage and desolation clearly on his face and it pained her to know that there was nothing she could do. She wanted to help him rescue her, and it was a rescue that was needed. There was no way that Orihime would have gone willingly. The want was reciprocated on both Renji and Rukia as well. To abandon Ichigo now, would be the cruelest thing.

 

When Rukia tried to plead with the Head Captain, she was shut down instantly, and very decisively.

 

The senkaimon opened right there in the living room. Captain Zaraki and Byakuya stepped out. It was time to go.

 

Her eyes met Byakuya's briefly before he glance right past her to look at Rukia and Renji. All of them obeyed the wordless command and followed the captains back to soul society.

 

Yoshina looked back at Ichigo one last time. Her heart went out to him. When she turned back to the senkaimon, Byakuya was looking at her curiously. Possibly judging her for her very human weakness.

 

Feelings had no place in duty. She should know that by now.


	11. Heartless

Sleep evaded Yoshina that night.

 

 

Screams, pleads, and cries plagued her slumber, making her restlessly flounder about in her bed unknown to her.

 

 

Her face next morning, the dark circles under her eyes and the paleness of her complexion, bore testament to her unrest.

 

 

But that did not matter.

 

 

It was not just her nightmares that had kept her awake. She was used to those by now. The demons of her past had been a recurring occurrence for a while but they had renewed their presence in her mind with a vengeance after the events in the World of the Living. No matter how much she tried to block the memories out, battling that arrancar, Fierro, had brought everything back to the surface. It would take many days more, even months, to block the resurfacing torment again and find peace once more.

 

 

She had also stayed up thinking about how they had been forced to abandon Ichigo when he had needed them the most. It must be particularly hard on Rukia especially. They were very close and Rukia must have felt torn to realize that she could not help the one person who had risked everything to save her life. It was unfair, unjust and heartless.

 

 

Well, Yoshina had plans to change that.

* * *

 

 

She found him in the Captain's office of his squad. Scanning of reiatsu revealed he was alone, so she simply opened the door and walked in like she had every right to be there. He was at the window. His back ramrod straight, staring ahead with his hands behind his back. Upon the intrusion, he did not turn back immediately.

 

 

He knew it was her. He had sensed her reiatsu hesitate briefly outside the door. No matter how deep in thought or occupied he was, she always managed to barge into his mind no matter how hard he tried to block her out. It seemed she had a natural talent for that. And he knew perfectly well what this visit was about as well.

 

 

With a sigh of resignation, he turned to face her.

 

 

The determination of her face confirmed his suspicions, as did the words that followed.

 

 

"How could you do this to Rukia and Renji?"

 

 

He maintained his silence but merely raised a brow at her, daring her to elaborate.

 

 

"How can you force them to abandon their friend when he needed their help? How do you think Rukia feels about having to not help Ichigo, the boy who risked everything to rescue her? How do you think she feels? How can you be so  _heartless_?" she asked him. The venom in her words made one wonder if she was only referring to his ill-treatment of his sister and his lieutenant, or if there was more to the accusation.

 

At his continued silence, she ranted on at him. He let her. He could have stopped her any moment but she made quite the picture, rambling on and on in her anger. It almost amused him to think how she'd react when she realized that he had already sent Rukia and Renji to Hueco Mondo.

 

 

"You value your rules and laws so damn much. Even more than the people you care about. And don't deny it. As much as you try to hide it, you  _do_ care about them." she practically yelled. He neither agreed nor disagreed.

 

 

Eyes flashing, voice rising, she was flushed with rage. She made quite the picture of righteous indignation, Byakuya observed quietly. Since it came out of some sense of duty and concern for his own sister, he found admiration sneaking in. Considering she was raging on at a Captain, disregarding all consequences of her actions, admiration sank to slight annoyance.

 

 

Once she was done, he would let her know that her rage was misplaced. But for now, he decided to let her have her say.

 

 

"Have you ever broken one rule just to do right by them? For once?" she asked him.

 

 

In the silence that followed, his mind went to Hisana. He had broken  _all_  the rules for  _her_. He had done it, despite the knowledge that it would both disappoint the clan and destroy any semblance of stability. He had done it anyway.

 

 

Yoshina came to the same conclusion.

 

 

"You broke them for  _her_. So I know you cannot be completely heartless and cruel," she continued, treading on dangerous territory. Silently he prayed she wouldn't cross the line but she was on a roll, and paid no heed to any lines drawn meticulously around each other. "So what happened, Byakuya?" she asked, ignoring the way his jaw clenched, biting back the words. "Did she leave you this way or were you always like this?"

 

 

The words hung between them.

 

 

He bridged the distance between them, wanting her to hear him loud and clear when he effectively put her in her place.

 

 

"You have  _no right_ to speak of my wife. And that's  _Captain Kuchiki_  to you,  _Shihoin_ ," he corrected her, reminding her of the vast difference in their station within the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. He used it as a shield to build a barrier between them. A barrier that always seemed to be crumbling with every moment spent in her presence.

 

 

It had little to no effect on her. "I will speak of whatever I want to speak of,  _Byakuya_." If she dragged his name out melodically, it was only meant to annoy him.

 

 

And it managed to. Perfectly.

 

 

"Shut up," he said, the words barely audible. It was very unlike him. The words were a complete contradiction to the image he portrayed of himself as the perfect rendition of propriety, and gave insight into the fact that he was feeling more than he allowed to show.

 

 

He took a step closer. He was anyway almost a foot taller than her but now, this close, he towered over her, making her look up at a very uncomfortable angle to meet his gaze. The gleam in his eyes, as well as the invasion of her personal space was intended to be a threat. Meaning to say,  _stop or else._  It only made Yoshina more determined to stand her ground.

 

 

"Make me," she retorted, refusing to back down.

 

 

In close range, the widening of his eyes at her audacity seemed to happen in slow motion. Yoshina watched in fascination as his nostrils flared. She couldn't see it but she felt his reiatsu pulsate, rising rhythmically, invading her space and the invisible barrier of her own aura. It enveloped her, effectively imprisoning her without even touching her.

 

 

"What did you say?" he asked. Eyes narrowed, slate grey bore into amber daring her to retract her challenging words.

 

 

 _Like hell._ She lifted her chin in open defiance. "You heard me. Make me."

 

 

In a quick unexpected motion, his hand curled around her neck. For a brief moment, she wondered if he'd strangle her. He looked like he wanted to.

 

 

Eyes wide open, breath held in, she stared at him in shock. Her mouth felt dry. Her heart beat at an increased crescendo. Somewhere deep within, a part of her urged to flee. Her tongue slipped over her lips, in an effort to battle the dryness. She felt like her breath was caught somewhere and she couldn't seem to focus on getting it back.

 

 

The movement caught his gaze. His eyes descended and lingered.

 

 

"Byakuya," she whispered. A warning. A plea. For what she didn't know. But in all honesty, instinctively she did know.

 

 

The hold tightened around her nape. He seemed even closer. She realized too late that he was indeed dragging her closer, inch by inch. Her hands came up to push against his chest but in the end, they didn't. she just let them rest there, feeling his own beating heart, seeming to beat in sync with her own.

 

 

The words were a breath, mingling with her own, upon her lips. "Captain Kuchiki," he corrected her.

 

 

Then his lips crashed upon hers, in a punishing kiss. His reiatsu curled around her, just as his hand dragged her even closer, flush against him. It was less a kiss, and more a meeting of lips. An act of domination, reminding her of who was in control.

 

 

But it seemed he was the one who was steadily losing all semblance of control and restraint. Her gasp against his lips allowed him to swoop in. All pretenses of discipline abandoned, he kissed her with a passion he himself did not realize was possible anymore. Like a starving man that had found the most divine of feasts.

 

 

The hands that had meant to push him away, tightened. Crumpling his crisp uniform. Nails digging in through the fabric. Pain. One that is of a different kind. Delicious and tempting. Sinful.

 

 

She didn't understand how they had slipped into this when they had just moments before been engaged in a verbal battle. She forgot why she was angry. In fact she forgot everything else but the feel of him against her. It all felt new and familiar at the same time. His lips, soft for one so seemingly cold, enticed her to kiss him back. Harder. Nipping his lower lip. Battling for dominance.

 

 

She leaned into his embrace. Her hands smoothly ascending across the plane of his chest to tangle in his hair. One part of his kenseikan fell, slipping without a sound on to the carpeted floor. Neither noticed. His hand that was not holding her and caressing her neck, rested against her lower back. Pushing her closer. Leaving no doubt as to just how much he wanted her.

 

 

Control was an illusion.

 

 

Legs wrapped around his hips, her hair spread over his desk, he could imagine it in his head. He wanted it. Lifting her almost off her feet, he pushed against her, unconsciously letting his body convey what he needed from her without having to use a word. She was deliciously vibrant in his arms. As her lips, tongue and teeth devoured him back, as her arms tangled around him dragging him closer, her reiatsu swirled around his own in their own little dance. It was destructive, crumbling barriers, hesitation and defenses. It slipped past all his carefully constructed walls that separated him from everything else around him. Naught but a taste, and it had overwhelmed him.

 

 

Never before had he felt this.

 

 

He was no stranger to passion. His cold demeanor hid a wealth of passion and fire that he unleashed only in the most private moments. Even Hisana had not broken past that. But Hisana had never kissed him this way. She had always been compliant with his desire and it had been enough. It had always been sweet and gentle, and that too had been enough. More than enough.

 

 

She was nothing like Hisana. This was something else entirely. For every inch he gained, Yoshi took more of him.

 

 

Hisana.

 

 

_Hisana._

 

 

His  _wife._

 

 

Suddenly, the warmth of the lips singed him. The passion seemed to burn him inside. The closeness, their entangled desire seemed to imprison him.

 

 

He couldn't.

 

 

He shouldn't.

 

 

_Stop._

 

 

_I'm married._

 

 

He screamed at himself, fear and shame clawing at his own soul.

 

 

The words left his lips, as he wrenched himself away from her. "I'm married!"

 

 

She stared at him, uncomprehending of the sudden change. The anger was back. His eyes accused her.

 

 

"I'm married," he repeated.

 

 

Hair in disarray, uniform crumpled, and lips red with nips and kisses from her own, he looked more ravaged than even she did.

 

 

Her eyes stung as his words registered. As the regret written all over his features registered clearly leaving no doubt as to his shame over his actions. His shame over her.

 

 

He turned away from her, clutching his desk. Leaning for support from an inanimate object, shielding himself from  _her_. For some reason, that cut deeper than any word or accusation could have.

 

 

 _You kissed me!_ she almost wanted to remind him. To lay the blame at his feet for what  _he_ had started. But even as she felt hurt by his sudden rejection, she couldn't ignore his own pain. It swirled about them. The anger  _was_ back but it was no longer directed at her. He was suffering, tormenting himself.

 

 

She almost reached out to him. To stop the hurt. To stop the guilt. She knew it wasn't hers to heal but she wanted to nonetheless. Yet even as she yearned to comfort him, she knew he would not want her to see him this way. Not her. Not now.

 

 

So she slipped away. Wordlessly. Clutching her own heart within herself, lips tingling from passion that had threatened to make them both forget their place just moments before, she ran.

 

 

_Like always._

 

 

Tears finally slipped past her defenses. Even she could only take so much.

* * *

 

 

Renji and Rukia found her in the Squad 13 garden. She was sitting under the tree, eyes closed, when she felt them approach.

 

 

"We came to say goodbye," Renji said.

 

 

A bit louder than was for Rukia's liking it seemed. "Shush it, Renji! Do you want entire soul society to find out?"

 

 

Renji, instantly contrite, changed tact. "We came to say goodbye," he repeated. Now his voice was a whisper, which made Rukia roll her eyes at the buffoon.

 

 

"Goodbye?" Yoshina asked, straightening up in surprise. "Where are you two going? We just got back." Then noticing the determined look on both their faces, understanding dawned. "You can't! They forbade it. We'll get into trouble if we go anyway, disregarding the orders."

 

 

Rukia offered a soft smile. "You know why we have to."

 

 

"But Byakuya..." Yoshina reminded them. "You're just starting to fix things with him. This will completely destroy..."

 

 

"He's the one who said we should go," Renji interrupted.

 

 

Yoshina sputtered. "What?"

 

 

Rukia nodded in confirmation. "He knows and he gave us his blessing."

 

 

It made sense then. When Yoshina had thrown accusation after accusation at him, he had not defended himself. He had already done what was required so he had nothing to defend himself against. He had done right by his sister and Renji.

 

 

Yoshina wanted to tag along. Not only because she desperately wanted to help Ichigo but also because escaping the soul society that all of a sudden felt too small and stifling seemed quite appealing right now. But she knew she wasn't ready. Her Zanpakuto wasn't as combat ready as it should be. As it needed to be before the war was upon them all. Going on a mission now, half ready as she was, would only ensure that she got in the way of the others.

 

 

So she hugged them both, told them very sternly to stay safe, and bid them farewell for now.

 

 

The Winter War would be here soon, whether they were ready for it or not. All of Soul Society was in preparation for that. Yoshina too acknowledged the insistent need to ramp up her training. She needed more experience in real stressful situations. She couldn't freeze like she had in the World of the Living. She had had her own reasons but none of them could justify jeopardizing the lives of those around her and the mission itself. She needed to be better. To do better. Personal feelings and personal fears had no place in light of the bigger picture.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review! That's what fuels this writer! :)


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